Let us hope that this post will be brief, as I have massive amounts of work left to do
I just finished one homework assignment, so I figure I'm bound to waste this next half hour anyway...
I feel like I've reached some kind of turning point in my life. It's like one of those video games where the ground is falling away from you piece by piece, and you have to jump to the next segment before the one you're on lets you drop to the center of the earth. You just have to hit the button and jump, and not look back. It's easy enough to tell myself this is the rational thing to do, but it's another issue completely to convince the non-logical part of my brain that it's okay to let go.
In my past experience, I have noticed that I tend to obsess over things. Perhaps it's because I know that my memory of events tends to fade exponentially as a function of how long ago they occurred, and so I hit the replay button repeatedly in my mind in hope that I won't forget. About two years ago, I started keeping a diary again so that I could record such thoughts. It isn't a regular diary, by far, but instead just a place where I can go when something significant happens. Since then, I've had fewer of these obsessions, because I know that I can always go back and read exactly what I was thinking.
But there are some things that just aren't the same when I go back and read them, and some feelings that I couldn't possibly put into words. Herein lies the true test of my ability to relax, close my eyes, and jump with blind faith before I start crashing down. Here is where I have to be able to believe that I will be just fine, or even happier than before.
I feel like I've reached some kind of turning point in my life. It's like one of those video games where the ground is falling away from you piece by piece, and you have to jump to the next segment before the one you're on lets you drop to the center of the earth. You just have to hit the button and jump, and not look back. It's easy enough to tell myself this is the rational thing to do, but it's another issue completely to convince the non-logical part of my brain that it's okay to let go.
In my past experience, I have noticed that I tend to obsess over things. Perhaps it's because I know that my memory of events tends to fade exponentially as a function of how long ago they occurred, and so I hit the replay button repeatedly in my mind in hope that I won't forget. About two years ago, I started keeping a diary again so that I could record such thoughts. It isn't a regular diary, by far, but instead just a place where I can go when something significant happens. Since then, I've had fewer of these obsessions, because I know that I can always go back and read exactly what I was thinking.
But there are some things that just aren't the same when I go back and read them, and some feelings that I couldn't possibly put into words. Herein lies the true test of my ability to relax, close my eyes, and jump with blind faith before I start crashing down. Here is where I have to be able to believe that I will be just fine, or even happier than before.