(no subject)
I hope I can work things out.
I'm an impatient, nervous fucktard, but I think I can work things out. I honestly care about people, I honestly love all my friends, I'm just sometimes not so good at expressing it.
For what it's worth.
I'll do anything necessary for a friend if they ask it of me. I'm very comfortable with getting them stuff, is all. It's easy pleasure for me, and cool to see them enjoy things.
Anyway, I really want to be forgiven and be friends with my friends. I hope I haven't done or said something that will totally offend someone forever. That'd be pretty crappy, and I've had enough ties with friends and people I cared about severed like that to be, well, not wanting it.
I've got to trust people more. I always so afraid they'll decide they don't like me anymore. And there's no real reason for it except a lot of free-floating guilt because of thoughts I have which I ignore, and more charitable thoughts which I don't give enough time to.
I'll work this out. As long as there is life there is hope, and I'm a fool to think otherwise.
I was very insightful about the nature of war and humanity with a friend of mine on the way home tonight. She asked me about how I tolerate reading about war, and I gave her an answer I can't swiftly capture in this space. Upshot was, I think I conveyed some of my overarching world view to her, both the hopeful and the sad parts of it. It was a good talk. I saw a friend I've been missing for about a month, found out he was doing well. I can't wait to be with him again too.
I'm worn thin. But I'm still alive. And that's all I need to remember.
I'm an impatient, nervous fucktard, but I think I can work things out. I honestly care about people, I honestly love all my friends, I'm just sometimes not so good at expressing it.
For what it's worth.
I'll do anything necessary for a friend if they ask it of me. I'm very comfortable with getting them stuff, is all. It's easy pleasure for me, and cool to see them enjoy things.
Anyway, I really want to be forgiven and be friends with my friends. I hope I haven't done or said something that will totally offend someone forever. That'd be pretty crappy, and I've had enough ties with friends and people I cared about severed like that to be, well, not wanting it.
I've got to trust people more. I always so afraid they'll decide they don't like me anymore. And there's no real reason for it except a lot of free-floating guilt because of thoughts I have which I ignore, and more charitable thoughts which I don't give enough time to.
I'll work this out. As long as there is life there is hope, and I'm a fool to think otherwise.
I was very insightful about the nature of war and humanity with a friend of mine on the way home tonight. She asked me about how I tolerate reading about war, and I gave her an answer I can't swiftly capture in this space. Upshot was, I think I conveyed some of my overarching world view to her, both the hopeful and the sad parts of it. It was a good talk. I saw a friend I've been missing for about a month, found out he was doing well. I can't wait to be with him again too.
I'm worn thin. But I'm still alive. And that's all I need to remember.