crazy shit
so ive been in a very transitional state today. ive come to realize alot of things, and ive suffered alot of emotions today.
if you would have asked me "have you been successfull in life so far?" three days ago, i probably would have said "naa.. im just hanging out", because.. when you think about it, i really havent been THAT successfull. i dont have a relationship, or a job, or a car, or a degree, or a house, a family, ... uhh.. ya, you get the picture. but i started thinking about it today, and it was like a big, sudden cool just rolled up and said hey. i am a decorated gamer, i know alot about.. well.. alot of things, and what hit me the most, was hearing these words, "well, what do you want to do?, im not gonna get in your way, do whatever you want". that phrase, by itself, doesnt seem like much. but if you take it in context, with the whole picture, its amazing. that was what the owner of the resturant said to me today. i thought about it, was was like "fuck...." im 19, and the executive chef of a resturant. pretty cool.. i guess.
but then, later on (like now), i got all sullen and depressed again, it only lasts for awhile, but it still sucks. ive pretty much learned how to shrug it off, but sometimes it still hits you, and you cant avoid it.
bleh.. so theres this really crazy thing too... people often tell me that i will find the "right" person, and then my usual response is a laugh. for me, the right person would be a girl that is into virtually everything that i am, which, if you know me, is an extreemly hard feat. but ya.. theres this girl i met online, (ya.. i know, gasp), but shes really fucking cool, and into EXACTLY the same things i am into. crazy. i think i may go see her (all the way in fucking california) sometime later on this year. maybe not, who knows.
uhh.. ya.. i guess i could ramble on more, but i think im gonna go take a shower, i worked like 12 hours today, and now i need to go to walmart to pick up some shit for the resturant. (speaking of that, i think we are having a tasting party this saturday.. free food and drink. lemme know if interested)
i guess i will go shower. two fingas.
if you would have asked me "have you been successfull in life so far?" three days ago, i probably would have said "naa.. im just hanging out", because.. when you think about it, i really havent been THAT successfull. i dont have a relationship, or a job, or a car, or a degree, or a house, a family, ... uhh.. ya, you get the picture. but i started thinking about it today, and it was like a big, sudden cool just rolled up and said hey. i am a decorated gamer, i know alot about.. well.. alot of things, and what hit me the most, was hearing these words, "well, what do you want to do?, im not gonna get in your way, do whatever you want". that phrase, by itself, doesnt seem like much. but if you take it in context, with the whole picture, its amazing. that was what the owner of the resturant said to me today. i thought about it, was was like "fuck...." im 19, and the executive chef of a resturant. pretty cool.. i guess.
but then, later on (like now), i got all sullen and depressed again, it only lasts for awhile, but it still sucks. ive pretty much learned how to shrug it off, but sometimes it still hits you, and you cant avoid it.
bleh.. so theres this really crazy thing too... people often tell me that i will find the "right" person, and then my usual response is a laugh. for me, the right person would be a girl that is into virtually everything that i am, which, if you know me, is an extreemly hard feat. but ya.. theres this girl i met online, (ya.. i know, gasp), but shes really fucking cool, and into EXACTLY the same things i am into. crazy. i think i may go see her (all the way in fucking california) sometime later on this year. maybe not, who knows.
uhh.. ya.. i guess i could ramble on more, but i think im gonna go take a shower, i worked like 12 hours today, and now i need to go to walmart to pick up some shit for the resturant. (speaking of that, i think we are having a tasting party this saturday.. free food and drink. lemme know if interested)
i guess i will go shower. two fingas.