(no subject)
Ok I will admit it despite what i have said before it does bother me. A problem requires both sides being willing to resolve the issues for it to be fixed, and as much as I have tried I keep thinking maybe I could have tried harder. I know I'm not the best of people, I have never claimed otherwise, but I try and try and its never enough. And theres nothing to do about it.
I have been much more introspective for the last six months or so. Not directly because of anything anyone's done, but I'm changing as a person. I'm just not sure I like the person I am becoming, and I cant in good conscience really talk to most of friends about it, either I don't think they can help, i don't know them well enough, or more commonly they have there own shit going on. As a result i have been keeping a lot inside, not in the bad push it away and repress way. I have been thinking, and trying to fix what i can but he side effect has been I've really been pushing people away. I have always prided myself a bit on being very caring about others but not only do all my friends with serious problems currently have the kind of problems i really cant help with. I cant even help myself these days.
I'm not depressed , I know that but I'm not really in a very good place either and for one of the first times in my life I'm really not sure how or what to do.
I have been much more introspective for the last six months or so. Not directly because of anything anyone's done, but I'm changing as a person. I'm just not sure I like the person I am becoming, and I cant in good conscience really talk to most of friends about it, either I don't think they can help, i don't know them well enough, or more commonly they have there own shit going on. As a result i have been keeping a lot inside, not in the bad push it away and repress way. I have been thinking, and trying to fix what i can but he side effect has been I've really been pushing people away. I have always prided myself a bit on being very caring about others but not only do all my friends with serious problems currently have the kind of problems i really cant help with. I cant even help myself these days.
I'm not depressed , I know that but I'm not really in a very good place either and for one of the first times in my life I'm really not sure how or what to do.