I know this probably won't last very long....
But right in this moment I want a mini skirt, my knee high boots, and my Christine.
And I long for a swirling embrace of dancing bodies.
I know this probably won't last more than five or six seconds.
And time is passed from that when by a long time.
But right now I want it, so bad it burns.
Addendum and Addition
I've been thinking and I've been taking it light.
But I've been realizing just how many doors shut when I broke up with Phoenix.
How many people were just friends with me because I was his girl friend.
How many people who I tired to be friends with even if distantly due to circumstances.
How many places I won't be invited to or wanted at anymore.
The irony of it hits me like a sharp slap.
I've never had a break up like this.
I've had harder ones. I've had ones that hurt more. I've had ones that desemated my will.
I've had ones that made me numb. I've had ones that reduced me to nothing.
But never one where I lost more than just the other person in the relationship
Is it a reason to have stayed? No, just a sad after thought to the effort afforded me.
Tonights been a funny night.
I want to go dance because I haven't, because he can't.
I want to take my car for an incredibly long drive and surprise my Kris.
I want someone who will romance me like a boy did once upon a time when I was sixteen.
Who wrote poetry and action scenes and mailed me rose petals just because
Who just gave away his ring.
I want the person who promised me red roses in daisy bunches for six anniversary.
Who tries to surprise me now because he finally realizes how important it is.
Who tires.
I want the man who was afraid of me dancing in a lightening storm because he loved me so much.
Who can barely look me in the eyes but will defend me till death with his heart beat.
I want the fire-eyed one who set my soul and heart free.
Who taught me how to speak and dance outside in the rain for real.
Who died in white powder and laughter lies.
I want someone to romance me. To hold me close and let me fly.
A haven to dry my tears and with fingers to quell my fears.
Who'll kiss me on the neck somewhere randomly.
Who isn't submerged in sexism and understands realism.
Who wants shy and vulgar, who wants sofistifacted and geeky.
I want someone to romance me. To see me. To need me. To love me.
So much I just want to loose myself.
In a mini skirt and knee high lace up boots.
In the swirl of the bodies fast and furious.
In a need, a heady feeling of loosing myself.
Loosing my dreams and deepest wishes
Tears of dust
Longings must
Flee to the void
I want to actually feel sleepy and sleep deep for my final at eight am.
sigh
Realism. Realistic priorities. Test preformance at eight am.
And I long for a swirling embrace of dancing bodies.
I know this probably won't last more than five or six seconds.
And time is passed from that when by a long time.
But right now I want it, so bad it burns.
Addendum and Addition
I've been thinking and I've been taking it light.
But I've been realizing just how many doors shut when I broke up with Phoenix.
How many people were just friends with me because I was his girl friend.
How many people who I tired to be friends with even if distantly due to circumstances.
How many places I won't be invited to or wanted at anymore.
The irony of it hits me like a sharp slap.
I've never had a break up like this.
I've had harder ones. I've had ones that hurt more. I've had ones that desemated my will.
I've had ones that made me numb. I've had ones that reduced me to nothing.
But never one where I lost more than just the other person in the relationship
Is it a reason to have stayed? No, just a sad after thought to the effort afforded me.
Tonights been a funny night.
I want to go dance because I haven't, because he can't.
I want to take my car for an incredibly long drive and surprise my Kris.
I want someone who will romance me like a boy did once upon a time when I was sixteen.
Who wrote poetry and action scenes and mailed me rose petals just because
Who just gave away his ring.
I want the person who promised me red roses in daisy bunches for six anniversary.
Who tries to surprise me now because he finally realizes how important it is.
Who tires.
I want the man who was afraid of me dancing in a lightening storm because he loved me so much.
Who can barely look me in the eyes but will defend me till death with his heart beat.
I want the fire-eyed one who set my soul and heart free.
Who taught me how to speak and dance outside in the rain for real.
Who died in white powder and laughter lies.
I want someone to romance me. To hold me close and let me fly.
A haven to dry my tears and with fingers to quell my fears.
Who'll kiss me on the neck somewhere randomly.
Who isn't submerged in sexism and understands realism.
Who wants shy and vulgar, who wants sofistifacted and geeky.
I want someone to romance me. To see me. To need me. To love me.
So much I just want to loose myself.
In a mini skirt and knee high lace up boots.
In the swirl of the bodies fast and furious.
In a need, a heady feeling of loosing myself.
Loosing my dreams and deepest wishes
Tears of dust
Longings must
Flee to the void
I want to actually feel sleepy and sleep deep for my final at eight am.
sigh
Realism. Realistic priorities. Test preformance at eight am.