The existance of polyamory in my life at present.....
Part Two of the Clarity Burst from SaturdayRemember when I made that statement about how I'd introduce the boy to polyfideilty and said I'd explain, but never got back to it? Well, this is part of that, and the whole of something much, much, much bigger in my life and my heart
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According to Polyamory.com
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory is a relationship style that involves an openness to be being involved with more than one person at the same time. Polyamory is about responsible non-monogamy. Polyamory is not about cheating, or dishonesty. Polyamory pre-supposes that all people involved consent to this arrangement, and are honest about what is going on.
Polyamory is NOT swinging
There is a major distinction to be made between what is called "Swinging" and Polyamory. In swinging, the intent is to engage in non-monogamous sexual behavior without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy between oneself and the secondary partners. Swingers generally seek to engage in recreational sex without emotional intimacy. With polyamory, there is no such restriction, and the intent IS to allow such emotional intimacy to exist, develop, and grow between the people involved.
Always make sure that you know what you're getting into. But then, jsut the other day you were missing the differences between intimacy and sex. Hrm...Interesting.
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As far as polyamory is concerned, she's doing the right stuff. honesty, blahblahblah, etc. Its just..I dont know if I'd call this polyamory at all. Yes! like in the definition "involved" is used. Involved is the key. There we go.
By nature, we're all polyamorous.
And we're probably in agreement. I just wanna make sure Amanda knows I'm not calling her a slut. ;)
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Mysti, I get that you saying that you admit to "loving many". But are you or are you not interested in "physical affections with many". And if so to what extent? Just the flirting game? Petting? PG-13 high school makeout parties? Orgies? There are alot of levels. Just wondering.
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Thats a greatly interesting link. I so agree with this at times.
"Women typically have high standards in either case; men are willing to go down to the tenth percentile (for short-term partners), as long as she can mumble," he says.
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Hun, your deliberately movning into the line of physical and sexual which would bring the subject to polygamy.
I covered that this had very little to do with polygamy in one of my responces to Chad.
I'm very rarely interested in the physical affections of anyone. And most of them are more distant than most. Which is one the reason that me getting into a serious, relationship startled me and few other people.
I am physically affectionate, and have recieved during all the time I've known each of those mentioned above, physical affections.
I am not interested in physical affections though.
That is not what I go looking for, or fall for, in a person. It's so much more important to me that someone can hold a conversation, be intimate, be a companion than to touch me in the right spot and bring me my orgasm. I can do that just fine myself, thank you. I want other things from people.
Yes, I am openly affectionate with these people without sleeping with them. You can ask my boy that even. Even though two of them are furhter away and harder to use as an example, you can use the third.
We'll walk around or sit holding hands, hug each other to death, kiss each other. I'll visit her in Austin and she'll visit me here. We'll share the same bed, clothed or unclothed, both in our mutual houses or in a tent camping without sex ever being involved.
She gives me startling enlightment. Holds my attention enrapt with all she learned, amazing. She helps me understand my life and continues on a daily basis to help me implement changes I've decided are good for or to encourge me with challenges I'm facing.
She can do more holding my hand, talk
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She can do more holding my hand, talking to me than I think anyone's ever done in my bed. An orgasm is a short lived good feeling and one of america's three biggest addictions. I do not fall sway under the need of it.
I have love. Thats enough for me.
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The body goes where the soul leads, is that it?
And If I'm close to getting it, I have to ask, what is your soul looking for?
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The body and the sexual/physical connection are of little to noconsequence to me in this sitution. If it were we'd be discussing polygamy and not polyamory.
It the difference between love and sex. I don't sex to be having love.
But I'm not searching for anything either. I've never gone and specifically sought out any of these people. They've entered my life through friends, games, and the internet. I've gotten to know them as dear friends and realized along the way it simply grew into something more.
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*smirks* I see what your doing. No new nicnames.
You know there are people who flame you to the point of useless conversation about the fact their not polyamorus. That find it an insult they coudl be compared to people who are using these words as excuses basically in their mind......to fuck a bunch of people.
Not getting sex from anyone but Phoenix at the moment. A subject recently arose about what would happen were i given the chance to be near someone I haven't been, who i was sexual with before I met him. But then I've seen them recently and there was nothing sexual, as per my choice, because of the existance of this relationship.
I don't do anything without a grand diatribe of communication with the boy. We're in a relationship therefore I need to know his feelings, opinions, needs, wants, reactions to anything before I feel I can simply take perogative and just go.
As for your defition of involved. During the incident with Kris yes I'd call it involved in many ways, but after that and also with the new addition in his life....no. Of course not. It caused huge problems between us, and silence between me and the boy, it would and will and does. So thats a no go.
Like I said, he is the lognest and fading. He deserved mention because he is not gone completely. I try not t leave things out.
The other three, yes, I consider myself involved with them. On many different levels. I have some huge commitments in them considering my life, my location, my future. They are commited to me and I to them. It's been that way for a while now.
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Hun. I got definitions for lots of stuff. I could send you to terrific poly web pages, groups, and even lj groups.
No, I said, and you can look back at it (I just did to be sure), I missed people who understood the difference between sex and intimacy.
It would be different to say I miss the difference. I was implying it about a few of my friends groups not having a diference at all in those two, and so not understanding there could be a difference at all.
I say 'could', because we are all different and we all handle all our shit different because it's inside our heads and we all when it comes down to it handle it in individual ways.
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