Things so far left unsaid;
First: I've decided I'm going back to healthy...
After the past two three months....the availability of fast food and soda more in reach than in the past seven or eight years, I realize I really distastefully dislike most of it all, except for the ease of getting it. So I'm going back to my normal. Sandwiches, salads, milk, fruit drinks, lots of fruit -fresh, in breakfast bars, dried, ect- and so much more because I realize it's not so much not liking the food I'm eating now I'm seriously missing the tastes of the food I'm not eating recently.
Like right now, I have a bowl of grapes and it my second thing to eat today (the first being a small salad). It's been months since I had grapes and at the moment I can't tell of anything that tastes more divine. (Save a pomegranate and there I am completely biased.) So I'm going back to my health nut way of life my mother raised in me. It'll be a little hard shifting back, especially while watching other eat certain foods, already has been at least once, but I have a goal and plan to stick to it.
Along with that the excursive is coming back, too. Back to sit ups and push ups, and random dance excursuses that always come to mind mid stretch. I'm going to be going to those yoga classes on Monday nights. I need to get in touch with Becca, and see if she still had the write up for that seven week walking, plus excersizes plan. She wrote it up for me once, but I've lost it since then and her rave reviews of it make me want to search for it again
Second: I got to keep the dragon ring.
Sounds silly, but for some reason I never took it off after putting it on the afternoon before my event started. I sat on my desk in my mothers house, and then my dresser in this new apartment, waiting for when I could give it back to Christi. So I slipped it on my finger that afternoon, because it would be the easiest way not to loose it and I'd have it on me already when I found her. She didn't come to the event, which is easily fine.
But I just never took it off after that, while at the same time I tried to not form an attachment to it because of it not being mine, regardless of being able to appraise it in a sort of simplistic beauty. The kind that's hard to find in dragon jewelry.
Well, he convinced out the night of Pagan's Night Out, and I handed it back to her, laughing and telling her I'd been holding it to give back to her for the longest time. She smiled but she stared at it just holding it in between her fingers and then she looked at me said, "It's not mine anymore", with this sort of shrug. Then she just handed it back to me.
Thank you, lovely. In someways I think this may be best thing I received this month.
Third: School
Thought I was nervous about it, I passed the spring semester with flying colors. I made two A's, three B's, and one C. I feel rather good about this, even though I feel nervous still about perusing my major at present. but better about it, not so fatalistic about never going to make it in school underneath all that undying, effiable hope.
Along with that I decided on what to register for this first summer semester, which starts June 2. I've decided I'm going to take English II, again, and Math, whatever level is next up under 'stupid people math' and that'll be it since they only allow you to take two courses or eight hours during each summer semester. Time will tell if I'll be here still for the second one.
~~~~~~~~
Another thing of importance, but not one left unsaid, is that I got to talk to James last night finally. We spent two and half hours on our phones, many times a mid conversations saying "i miss you" and "it's been too long". He's got his doubts founded if not obviously put about whether I'll stay this time, and he has right to that thought, which makes me wince. I'd never have imagined being able to put that sound into his voice. Especially not with all the other ones that came to it between all our words, and behind them.
Once upon a time I'd made a vow never to fail him.....yet when I hear that sound I think I might have already.
All of the steel butterflies melted into peels of laughter so very quickly once we started talking. It's been too long, and yet that entire almost three hours felt like it was only ten minutes. Hearing his voice delights and relaxes a million little things inside of me that no one else can soothe in the exact same way. He doesn't sound so very changed to me. He still sounds like my James, My Wolf. (Even if he is changing his name soon.)
We're aiming if it'll work to meet up, most likely in Houston, for the twenty-seventh, the Tuesday after next, a day which both he and the boy have off at the same time. Theirs already jokes about being smothered in hugs, and kisses, and just not letting go through most of the day.
Got to add one more point to the oh my god you're with someone seriously tally and one to the if you hurt her tally. I was all sorts of amused in his. His was aimed that if he hurt me he'd be set on fire, stabbed with sharp pointy objects -- repeatedly, and I'd be stolen right out from under him, simply to add insult to injury. This amuses me to no end.
He has not changed so much in all this time. Life has been hard, to both of us, of late..and their were exchanged apologies about not having been there during the worst of it. And we're here now. I can hope and pray that that enough. I don't want to loose track of him again, and he me, so we've agreed that even if they become short calls, we'd like to keep up to at least a call a week. Something that's very easy for me especially with the free times on my phone.
More on this later. Talking with the roommate about shopping for more food.
After the past two three months....the availability of fast food and soda more in reach than in the past seven or eight years, I realize I really distastefully dislike most of it all, except for the ease of getting it. So I'm going back to my normal. Sandwiches, salads, milk, fruit drinks, lots of fruit -fresh, in breakfast bars, dried, ect- and so much more because I realize it's not so much not liking the food I'm eating now I'm seriously missing the tastes of the food I'm not eating recently.
Like right now, I have a bowl of grapes and it my second thing to eat today (the first being a small salad). It's been months since I had grapes and at the moment I can't tell of anything that tastes more divine. (Save a pomegranate and there I am completely biased.) So I'm going back to my health nut way of life my mother raised in me. It'll be a little hard shifting back, especially while watching other eat certain foods, already has been at least once, but I have a goal and plan to stick to it.
Along with that the excursive is coming back, too. Back to sit ups and push ups, and random dance excursuses that always come to mind mid stretch. I'm going to be going to those yoga classes on Monday nights. I need to get in touch with Becca, and see if she still had the write up for that seven week walking, plus excersizes plan. She wrote it up for me once, but I've lost it since then and her rave reviews of it make me want to search for it again
Second: I got to keep the dragon ring.
Sounds silly, but for some reason I never took it off after putting it on the afternoon before my event started. I sat on my desk in my mothers house, and then my dresser in this new apartment, waiting for when I could give it back to Christi. So I slipped it on my finger that afternoon, because it would be the easiest way not to loose it and I'd have it on me already when I found her. She didn't come to the event, which is easily fine.
But I just never took it off after that, while at the same time I tried to not form an attachment to it because of it not being mine, regardless of being able to appraise it in a sort of simplistic beauty. The kind that's hard to find in dragon jewelry.
Well, he convinced out the night of Pagan's Night Out, and I handed it back to her, laughing and telling her I'd been holding it to give back to her for the longest time. She smiled but she stared at it just holding it in between her fingers and then she looked at me said, "It's not mine anymore", with this sort of shrug. Then she just handed it back to me.
Thank you, lovely. In someways I think this may be best thing I received this month.
Third: School
Thought I was nervous about it, I passed the spring semester with flying colors. I made two A's, three B's, and one C. I feel rather good about this, even though I feel nervous still about perusing my major at present. but better about it, not so fatalistic about never going to make it in school underneath all that undying, effiable hope.
Along with that I decided on what to register for this first summer semester, which starts June 2. I've decided I'm going to take English II, again, and Math, whatever level is next up under 'stupid people math' and that'll be it since they only allow you to take two courses or eight hours during each summer semester. Time will tell if I'll be here still for the second one.
~~~~~~~~
Another thing of importance, but not one left unsaid, is that I got to talk to James last night finally. We spent two and half hours on our phones, many times a mid conversations saying "i miss you" and "it's been too long". He's got his doubts founded if not obviously put about whether I'll stay this time, and he has right to that thought, which makes me wince. I'd never have imagined being able to put that sound into his voice. Especially not with all the other ones that came to it between all our words, and behind them.
Once upon a time I'd made a vow never to fail him.....yet when I hear that sound I think I might have already.
All of the steel butterflies melted into peels of laughter so very quickly once we started talking. It's been too long, and yet that entire almost three hours felt like it was only ten minutes. Hearing his voice delights and relaxes a million little things inside of me that no one else can soothe in the exact same way. He doesn't sound so very changed to me. He still sounds like my James, My Wolf. (Even if he is changing his name soon.)
We're aiming if it'll work to meet up, most likely in Houston, for the twenty-seventh, the Tuesday after next, a day which both he and the boy have off at the same time. Theirs already jokes about being smothered in hugs, and kisses, and just not letting go through most of the day.
Got to add one more point to the oh my god you're with someone seriously tally and one to the if you hurt her tally. I was all sorts of amused in his. His was aimed that if he hurt me he'd be set on fire, stabbed with sharp pointy objects -- repeatedly, and I'd be stolen right out from under him, simply to add insult to injury. This amuses me to no end.
He has not changed so much in all this time. Life has been hard, to both of us, of late..and their were exchanged apologies about not having been there during the worst of it. And we're here now. I can hope and pray that that enough. I don't want to loose track of him again, and he me, so we've agreed that even if they become short calls, we'd like to keep up to at least a call a week. Something that's very easy for me especially with the free times on my phone.
More on this later. Talking with the roommate about shopping for more food.