it's been almost three years since this quote existed in my head so much
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing
over and over and expecting different results.
Today was not an amazing day. Work was fabulous, and in my meeting, everyone around the table even spoke up for me, saying I did so much more than I'd offered in my first minute breakdown of explaining who I was and what I do, when we were telling the new people. I'm been in different part emotional-nauseous and need-food-because-I-didn't-eat-due-to-this-first-nauseous most of the day.
And I've spent a lot of it thinking about all of you. Both in my real life and in my social on-line life. All the things you say, keep saying, all of them going into a lock box jammed in my chest. How you all say the same things from completely different corners and involvement levels in my life, only to me, about feeling both witness and mute, making it so much harder to ignore or share. What it feels like. What it means.
About My Girl, and swamps, and who you hang with. And the false seductiveness of letting yourself believe in having earned endings and beginnings. The first of which I am terrible at and the second of which I am a champion at. About needing to be told you aren't in the wrong, about things you never wrong about to begin with. And this quote. This quote, over and over and over, whispers to me.
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