Air Witch, Throat Full of Sweet Songs -- The End to a Year
[Half written last week, half-finished today]
I hadn't dedicated myself to anything for a full year after the RCG Retreat where I stood up and dedicated my forthcoming year to both Lilith and Kali. (Boy, did I ask for that year. So much upheaval, but there was 'no one puts Baby in a corner' that whole time. And five thousands moments of looking back and never regretting what it made happen.)
This coming Sunday I finish my year with Air. Also, started at an RCG Retreat. If it was some three or four years later, and it was one bequeathed to me by that weekend's event and not something I chose. One year with Air. One of the two elements I'm least connect with and yet am always a part of.
The first time I ever built an altar to air I was in the last seven months of my Masters. It sat on and burned night and day through pretty much the entirety of my thesis research and writing of my thesis. I used to talk to, about what I wanted and where I was going. I vaguely can picture it still. Taking up the corner of my main living room table, with its big yellow candle and little book. Such a faint but true memory.
Nothing before it and nothing after it, that wasn't normal ritual respects to all. And then there it was this whole year with air. I am a water and earth girl. I can fall, with such safety and such glorious abandon into both. All heart and skin. And there I was with an air crown on my head, trying to think about this. Completely uncertain of everything.
And if you know me?
Uncertainty, and fear. Well, those are the best reasons to charge, head long, full speed, right off a cliff into the arms of whatever is causing this. (Which, mind you, is not always the sanest reaction to fear and uncertainty, but it is a very predictable one with me.)
So I set off on my year.
I took over the entire top of a piece of furniture in my bedroom and gave it its own altar and wall space for the year. I pulled out all my element books and read only the air sections in each of them. On spells, and creatures, meditations and activities. I had yellow, air candle wax, spilled on me. I did tons of invocations to Air for almost every group I'm a part of.
The production of air itself from plants, and through people. The element that literally keeps us living and that would have us die fastest if taken away. The cooling buffet on a hot day, the chilled kiss on a cold one. The world of music that has always been whispering in my ear, side by side with the muses and ink stained finger tips of needing to write. All of this is tangled up in Air, and has always been tangled up in every cell of me.
I've spent time thinking about how much Air related things happen in my life. The domain of all the metal contraptions which ferry me across this country and this whole world when I want it. The domain that covers all the words in my books, the transmissions of information between computers, and phones. The sound and silence (especially, in RCG Crown Chakra Path) of every person.
And i commented much through the last three or four months that I felt like every situation in my life was all up in the clouds around my head.
I was so objective and impartial in my Outcome Decision making often, in a way that felt frequently to (the Earth-Water part of) me like I was doing it sans emotion, even if the situation was an emotional one I was being emotional in. All decisions were lofty and higher and in the clouds, above the emotions, after the emotions had blown over. Running my life, my heart, my relationship like it was a council meeting or a country and not my day to day life.
Having been so used to Water's emotional place of choice, it was very, very different. And I am looking forward to wholly different, itself, too, way of Fire feeling and acting. As I've been very caught up in the transition between the two for the last week and half. A note both myself and handful of people near me have noticed.
I can say at the end of this year, I am not an Air Girl, or an Air Witch, specifically and only, but I can work with it. A tool and a partner at my fingertips should I have need and call. Which is a beautiful and interesting way to look at all of my year. Something that will always be in my ears, on my tongue, coming out my fingertips, cradling my silence.
The Altar End of Air
Left side: An old butterfly picture, I've had forever. A boxed butterfly sent from Hope. One of the paper signs that were up on all the walls during the RCG Crown Chakra Day. Center: My Quan Yin, because I didn't want to move her. Right side: An butterfly air-charm from a Goddess Grove day. An Air Card from a full_moon_swaps. A ballet dancer in the sky (of which there are four other matching position and pieces to it). A dream catcher from magikfanfic.
This is the main altar from away so all of it can be seen from a distance. It is also very high because this is the top of the armoire altar.
This is the left side of the altar. The star candle holder from a long ago garage sale. The black stone is a tall incense. There is my wooden moktok from Korea. My feather fan from the Pagan Pride Day. A red incense burner, never used, gifted from Mini-Christmas. Bookmark drawing from crazyfurries. The four Air Oils from dakotawitch Five Elements Through Five Senses. Yellow feather from my Elements supplies.
The thin circle with the pearls is a strand from the Air Priestess's scepter who dedicated me to air, and the big wheat & flowers crown-esque thing was bequeathed to me from her on that day. The glamourkin in front of it says "for her windy dance." The golden coin resting in the top is my Air Coin from Sacred Well's store. Hidden inbetween in places you can't see here are -- the yellow playdough from Sacred Well Yule taught by my Reiki Master, his Gathering of Family I read for air (hidden inside the crown). And my butterfly necklace.
In the back is my yellow candle, dedicated to Air and scribed all over it. The oil/tart burner in the back is from Yankee Candle, which had to be here, because of the plus, plus it smells good into the air, which is all into air stuff. There was a gold nail polish from winding_path. The little votive candle is a Bridget Candle from Sacred Well. The yellow pouch is from Lammas with Celebration Circle.
The glass bell is from my first altar when I was thirteen, the brass bell and incense holder have been with me at least a decade. The small art card and the yellow ball (apple?) is from crazyfurries. The incense is from dakotawitch's class as well. The yellow stone of calcite. The sage is from....somewhere. The "Blessed Be" pen-broom is from a sister in RCG, who got her Reiki Mastery with me.
The little dragon-fly chain is from magikfanfic, too. The tingshaw bells are Phoenix's. My pendulum (to be found if you look between the spoon head and the ribbon to its right, with its ball end, at the opposite end of the spoon, by the pen-broom) is from Pagan Pride Day. And my second bent spoon of my life (two bends this time!) is from RCG Tarot/Archetypes High Priestess/Magician.
I hadn't dedicated myself to anything for a full year after the RCG Retreat where I stood up and dedicated my forthcoming year to both Lilith and Kali. (Boy, did I ask for that year. So much upheaval, but there was 'no one puts Baby in a corner' that whole time. And five thousands moments of looking back and never regretting what it made happen.)
This coming Sunday I finish my year with Air. Also, started at an RCG Retreat. If it was some three or four years later, and it was one bequeathed to me by that weekend's event and not something I chose. One year with Air. One of the two elements I'm least connect with and yet am always a part of.
The first time I ever built an altar to air I was in the last seven months of my Masters. It sat on and burned night and day through pretty much the entirety of my thesis research and writing of my thesis. I used to talk to, about what I wanted and where I was going. I vaguely can picture it still. Taking up the corner of my main living room table, with its big yellow candle and little book. Such a faint but true memory.
Nothing before it and nothing after it, that wasn't normal ritual respects to all. And then there it was this whole year with air. I am a water and earth girl. I can fall, with such safety and such glorious abandon into both. All heart and skin. And there I was with an air crown on my head, trying to think about this. Completely uncertain of everything.
And if you know me?
Uncertainty, and fear. Well, those are the best reasons to charge, head long, full speed, right off a cliff into the arms of whatever is causing this. (Which, mind you, is not always the sanest reaction to fear and uncertainty, but it is a very predictable one with me.)
So I set off on my year.
I took over the entire top of a piece of furniture in my bedroom and gave it its own altar and wall space for the year. I pulled out all my element books and read only the air sections in each of them. On spells, and creatures, meditations and activities. I had yellow, air candle wax, spilled on me. I did tons of invocations to Air for almost every group I'm a part of.
The production of air itself from plants, and through people. The element that literally keeps us living and that would have us die fastest if taken away. The cooling buffet on a hot day, the chilled kiss on a cold one. The world of music that has always been whispering in my ear, side by side with the muses and ink stained finger tips of needing to write. All of this is tangled up in Air, and has always been tangled up in every cell of me.
I've spent time thinking about how much Air related things happen in my life. The domain of all the metal contraptions which ferry me across this country and this whole world when I want it. The domain that covers all the words in my books, the transmissions of information between computers, and phones. The sound and silence (especially, in RCG Crown Chakra Path) of every person.
And i commented much through the last three or four months that I felt like every situation in my life was all up in the clouds around my head.
I was so objective and impartial in my Outcome Decision making often, in a way that felt frequently to (the Earth-Water part of) me like I was doing it sans emotion, even if the situation was an emotional one I was being emotional in. All decisions were lofty and higher and in the clouds, above the emotions, after the emotions had blown over. Running my life, my heart, my relationship like it was a council meeting or a country and not my day to day life.
Having been so used to Water's emotional place of choice, it was very, very different. And I am looking forward to wholly different, itself, too, way of Fire feeling and acting. As I've been very caught up in the transition between the two for the last week and half. A note both myself and handful of people near me have noticed.
I can say at the end of this year, I am not an Air Girl, or an Air Witch, specifically and only, but I can work with it. A tool and a partner at my fingertips should I have need and call. Which is a beautiful and interesting way to look at all of my year. Something that will always be in my ears, on my tongue, coming out my fingertips, cradling my silence.
The Altar End of Air
Left side: An old butterfly picture, I've had forever. A boxed butterfly sent from Hope. One of the paper signs that were up on all the walls during the RCG Crown Chakra Day. Center: My Quan Yin, because I didn't want to move her. Right side: An butterfly air-charm from a Goddess Grove day. An Air Card from a full_moon_swaps. A ballet dancer in the sky (of which there are four other matching position and pieces to it). A dream catcher from magikfanfic.
This is the main altar from away so all of it can be seen from a distance. It is also very high because this is the top of the armoire altar.
This is the left side of the altar. The star candle holder from a long ago garage sale. The black stone is a tall incense. There is my wooden moktok from Korea. My feather fan from the Pagan Pride Day. A red incense burner, never used, gifted from Mini-Christmas. Bookmark drawing from crazyfurries. The four Air Oils from dakotawitch Five Elements Through Five Senses. Yellow feather from my Elements supplies.
The thin circle with the pearls is a strand from the Air Priestess's scepter who dedicated me to air, and the big wheat & flowers crown-esque thing was bequeathed to me from her on that day. The glamourkin in front of it says "for her windy dance." The golden coin resting in the top is my Air Coin from Sacred Well's store. Hidden inbetween in places you can't see here are -- the yellow playdough from Sacred Well Yule taught by my Reiki Master, his Gathering of Family I read for air (hidden inside the crown). And my butterfly necklace.
In the back is my yellow candle, dedicated to Air and scribed all over it. The oil/tart burner in the back is from Yankee Candle, which had to be here, because of the plus, plus it smells good into the air, which is all into air stuff. There was a gold nail polish from winding_path. The little votive candle is a Bridget Candle from Sacred Well. The yellow pouch is from Lammas with Celebration Circle.
The glass bell is from my first altar when I was thirteen, the brass bell and incense holder have been with me at least a decade. The small art card and the yellow ball (apple?) is from crazyfurries. The incense is from dakotawitch's class as well. The yellow stone of calcite. The sage is from....somewhere. The "Blessed Be" pen-broom is from a sister in RCG, who got her Reiki Mastery with me.
The little dragon-fly chain is from magikfanfic, too. The tingshaw bells are Phoenix's. My pendulum (to be found if you look between the spoon head and the ribbon to its right, with its ball end, at the opposite end of the spoon, by the pen-broom) is from Pagan Pride Day. And my second bent spoon of my life (two bends this time!) is from RCG Tarot/Archetypes High Priestess/Magician.