RCG Chakra Path Day
Let the beauty we love
Be what we do
There are hundreds of ways
To kneel and kiss the ground
The Heart Chakra
I was awake so early this morning, because I couldn't sleep at all once my first alarm went off. A combination of nerves all settled in my stomach, but they were fainter. More distant and hard to hear after the spell over the Heart Candle and Rose Quarts pieces the night before, where I put myself and everything that was everything for this morning, and my teaching, and what I had to learn at the font of the Heart Chakra, into the hands of the Goddess.
Just gave myself over to her, and the Heart Chakra.
The place I so dearly love and have lived in always.
I spent some time in bed writing and then I packed away all the necessary pieces. Which include my binder for paper keeping and my journal that I record chants and meditations and everything that happens in a day. Plus, I'm giving you July's picture of the All Chakra's/Heart Chakra part of my Altar so that you can get some pieces while I reference them, that I brought to add to the Heart Chakra Classes Altar.
What I took with me for the day was my Heart Candle, the green Fourth Chakra card (which reads "FOURTH CHAKRA: Divine Love fills my heart. I hear the song of the universe--the one song that is mine to sing in this life. I am whole. I am healed. I receive and radiate loving-kindness."), the image card (which on the back is full of information) and stone baring the symbol for Anahata.
Between the two cards is the beaded chakra pendant I wore, which was from rubymulligan in a full_moon_swaps. I took the smaller of the chakra wands, and my Heart!Chakra Chakra Doll.
I arrived about thirty minutes early, with one of the other facilitators and we all got everything ready together. I handed off the pieces of rose quartz with little more than a hug and smile to each of the beautiful women working with me. We planned for a very long, possibly highly intense day, so everyone was a little wired and hopeful and wary starting it seems. Especially when start ten minutes late, waiting to see if more people would show. It was smaller, more intimate group, which wasn't surprising given the work that goes into Heart Chakra stuff.
We started out check in with our name and one words which described The Heart Chakra or Love as we saw it at that moment. My words for the morning was Beloved. The adjective, not the noun. Very specifically. The feeling and action of being beloved by another, which has suffused my heart, in so many different emotions, lately.
Then we moved on to the agreements, which our group rules, and finally we got to drop into path/class space. We started the day learning three new chants. The first is the open, far above, right under the picture of Anahata.
The second
Life is the light at the heart of the rose
Life is the light at the heart of the rose
Rise, Sleeper, kiss me and open
Rise, Sleeper, and dream no more
All of Love, covers the Earth,
All of Love, limitlness dancing
All of Love, covers the Earth,
All of Love, limitlness dancing
The third
May our work be blessed
On the rising of breath
May our work be open to Love
After singing, we settled into seat for two of our sisters/facilitators to give a broad overview about Anahata/The Heart Chakra. The Chakra that is, coincidentally to my year, ruled by Air and called the 'Barer of Winds.'
We talked about how this name has a lot to with the placement of itself. The Solar Plexus Chakra, where we find the center of our Will and Intuition, must pass through the Heart Chakra with its compassion and balance of love and selflessness for Self just as much as Others, before it can leave the mouth through the Throat Chakra. The Barer of the Winds, it carry the needs and will. What a sacred job and hard one, to temper and balance Will and Intuition. My love for Anahata can only ever continue to expand and grow outward.
Led by another sister-facilitator we stood up and did an assortment of Heart Chakra Yoga poses. These were to open us, physically as well as metaphysically. Stretching with your heart held toward the sky or the light. We did both an Angel Pose and the Triangle. The first was a little tough for me, because in moving my arms backwards my shoulders make noise every time, which I'm still trying to determine if it's knotted muscles complaining or just more joint that pop all the time in certain uses. Either works. And the exercises helped
Which meant that it was my turn to step up to the plate and lead them in Heart Touches. I followed my sister, and her brave, sweet smile to the center of the room. Where I told people now that we opened our Heart Chakra physically we were going to move into learning how to listen to it. They paired off in groups of two, placing their right hands against the heart of their partner, and their left hand over their partners hand on their heart. The instructions were to listen to the Heart Chakra.
To the Heart Chakra of your partners under your hand, forever pushing outward from the front of the Heart Chakra. To listen to your own Heart Chakra pushing out into the hand over it. To circuit these made together. That they were allowed to look into each other’s eyes, or not. To sit or stand as they chose. But not to try and make compassionate or understanding faces, not to hold tension, or try to give off any messages. Just to listen.
Seven minutes of work in near silence, with only a Heart Chakra meditational piece in the background.
I did this with My Girl and I almost laughed about forty seconds or a minute or whenever it was in, and the voice in my heart, whether it was mine or the universes responded to something she'd said earlier with.
you are my heartbeat, dearest girl
And she is. She is my Always. I don't believe in the words broken or impossible with and because of her. And I can close my eyes on all those words, the sensation of her fierce heartbeat and the sun always deep in her skin and eyes, no matter what this world can put her through. No matter the distance or the time. And know that to the point at which i know all the deepest truths written in the blood and love of my deepest heart.
I did get one other message, as well. Complicated and something that I think for now I'm still holding deep in my heart, because I'm nervous of it. I know that truth. Beyond breathing. Beyond needing to justify it. I even know it in and of her whom it was in reference to. But there is something to be said for slow, steady steps and being able to hold a truth in your heart for yourself, as much as there is for saying it aloud where it is to be witnessed and shared.
I'm coming slowly to the more and more guilty-free realization she doesn't mind when I do this...and for that I can only feel gratitude for being found, and finding, and the smallest drops in a pond leading to miracles that only leave me breathless before this universe, before the fact some things cannot be less than magic and miracles, divinely planned with painstaking, joy flooded, patience so they turn up like flowers in spring, beautiful and as they were meant to.
At the end of this six minutes for my first set of Heart Touches I asked them to separate but not sit down. Following on what was mentioned in the overview, I asked them to remember how the Chakra's open out to the world from the front and pull into yourself from the back. That since Anahata/The Heart Chakra is about balance, having just done all of this work and focus on the front of their Heart Chakra's it was only right to balance them and work on the back.
Taking it one step further, also, balancing and bring them out from the singular compassion and awareness to the community, as the Chakra encompasses the balance of Self and All Others, as well. I bade them to get into a circle this time, and to take their left hand and place it on the back of the Heart Chakra of the person in front of them, and to focus on giving to the person in front of them. Listening to what the Heart Chakra needed. Listening to the connection and circuit of all the women they were giving to in this circle together, all at once.
I wasn't sure how well it was all working for everyone, because I kept having to gopher hole my way out of dropping in all way deeply in, to keep us on time for my space and making sure to watch how they were all handling it, even while i spent most of it with my hand on My Girl's back, and my head bowed against hers. But something amazing happened afterward.
When I encouraged that since we had a few minutes people could talk about what they felt on either activity. And they did. Which led to this amazing group hug/huddle while we were talking about their reactions or thoughts. It was described as intense and intimate. And it was talked about how people got physically warm and sweaty, without having moved an inch during it. And then more amazing things.
In a group where while people touch often, we rarely pile all together as group, as one heart beating and touch all at the same time. And how, when it came to part for the next activity, people were physically reluctant to release holding the people to the sides of them and the group itself. And there was even a request for one more group hug before letting go.
I was almost teary with humble pleasure at simply being able to see this in these people I so dearly love and respect.
From here we moved into doing the Chakra Card Trio Tarot Spread for the Heart Chakra, which was The Lovers, Death, and Judgment. Each time we listened to the priestess talk about the card and what it meant, while looking either at the cards we'd been requested to bring or images printed out by her, and then at the end we were asked each time to look at the cards, or within ourselves, and meditate on a set of questions.
The Lovers;
"What can love give me?"
"How do I become the lovers?"
"How do I experience love in my life?"
"How has love come to me?"
"What do I love?"
"What holds me back from love?"
"What does love ask of me?"
Death;
"How does Death feel?"
"Is the image terrifying? Strangely comforting? Something else?"
"How do I feel about death?"
"In what ways am I okay with Death?"
"And in what ways does it trouble me?"
"What needs to die in my life?"
"How do (can) I let it die?"
Judgment;
"What calls you to rise up and become something new?"
"What awakens my soul?"
"How can i change my life?"
"If I change my life, who or what will be impacted around me?"
"Do I want to answer the call to awaken?"
"Do I want to become something new?"
"What can I become?"
As with the Solar Plexus Trio, I felt very drawn into these ones. My Lovers card with their representation of a creature of Water and a creature of Land drawn to each other, even the quirked eyebrow, with its faintly aggressive bafflement. The questions befitting a newly arisen situation in my life, as much as The Heart Chakra analogy. As with the specific image of her that came to mind.
Death has never been anything but a cyclic comfort to me, but I was surprised that a specific action and Billy came to mind with its last question. Something I've been meaning to make myself do for some time now. I am so terribly bad at finally just releasing the strings, even when it might seem to him I let go a year ago.
The Judgment card. I learned so much about this card today. There's such a stigma with this word isn't there? I've always been leery of the word, especially when my card is so light, with its golden healer and the light raising from the body, with lists toward beams of light falling down on it. Rebirth. The Judgment card as and is Rebirth. Not weight, not mantle, not the prying eyes and opinions. This section of it was so powerful.
What I learned. What I heard. What I felt awaken, awakened, and awakening, all separate and different and beautiful.
We finished with the chant for this Trio Tarot Spread
The Lover's heartfire drives our fear
Though I know Death will call me
Rebirth awaits me after the end
My fearless heart is free
Here we broke for forty-five minutes for lunch, and My Girl came with me HEB to get food, as I'd entirely forgotten to pack mine in the morning nerves. Or to eat any breakfast. So we went to acquire a ceaser salad, boiled eggs, and chicken for me, and two éclairs for her. And during this time we finished up our epic talk of epicenes wherein I unvagued a lot of things which have only been written vaguely here for about two or three weeks. Fully and of a free heart.
To some beautiful and laughable and blush worthy and reluctant responses all across.
But also to the creation of our making today an Impromptu Girl Day.
We came back to talk about Process Watching, which is something the group installed a few months back. These are people who watch the group through the morning or afternoon, who aren't also teaching at the same time, to make sure the vibe is okay, to be people the women can come to if they feel something is too much or an agreement is being broken, etc.
Then we moved into our Balancing activity. This was about playing with balance in your body. You were allowed to move however you wanted, dance moves, walking steps, any position, even to lose balance and fall and catch yourself, it was simply moving slowly and playing with how you balance, how you feel balance and see it, how your body adjusts and compensates. And it was really all sorts of amazing.
After this, I got to teach my third section, since I was the high light of our activities that involved touching and not talking. Since the Balance brought us back into our bodies after an hour of talking and eating. Mine was to sink us back down into our hearts, and i was requested to give a section taught to us by another of our sister's years ago. Heart Hugging.
I paired them up with people from directly across the room from themselves, and gave them specific instructions. Each person has to lean to the right when they hug the other person, so that your hearts end up laying directly against each other. Then, you relax your shoulders and your neck. Lay you head on the shoulder of the person who is against you. Relax your arms and your hands, simply hold them and sink in. To their heart. To yours. To being held, to holding. Compassionately. Completely.
It's one of the fastest ways to get certain facilitators to a bubbly high state.
And I got them to do with three different, and everyone was all soft and sweet and reluctant to end these, too.
Then we took out seats for meditation. It started with a long talk about Radical Forgiveness, which is something I've been growing an interest in since hearing about it at the planning meetings for this Path. It was also about how when we grow attachments to things that hurt, it is usually because we are keeping them in our heads. Because we can mentally hold on to stories, whereas we let ourselves experiences emotional bursts and ups and down and let them go far easier.
So we laid down and took our meditation. It was actually rather surprising for me. Because we sank in and then we were supposed to pick a moment that hurt us deeply that we were still clinging too tenaciously. And my mind, before i could even question what something like that might be, popped up like toast, the weekend Billy came to visit me in Korea, overlapped with those certain words used. We were supposed to focus on what it was, specifically.
No detail sifting. No reading the back of the book for the cut down version. Just to hold it, metaphorically in our hands. To breathe in and out. To move it down from our minds, down through thoughts, down through our Throats, and pulls it finally into our hearts. If I can't say that it was incredibly hard....I can say that it was incredibly heavy, feeling weighted to the floor, to the sensation of what we chain ourselves to.
And it's nearly impossible to even come up with the words to explain how it felt when I released it into my heart, into feelings instead of thoughts. How explosive it was. How it was like dropping a small stone into a smooth-rippling pond.
(And even now, thinking of it. It's softer, fuzzier in my head, and the thoughts makes me place my hand over my heart. Could I remember all the perfect details if I wanted to? Of course. But why bring it back up? What need does that fulfill now? This softer place. This compassion. For him. For me. For those people in those moments. For time's gone now.
Even more now, I want to read those books, and take part in the Radical Forgiveness/Silence Retreat with the sister's I facilitated with this weekend. )
After this we took a break and then came back together for a Universal Peace Dance (a hint of what would be the evening’s entertainment afforded to us, if we had the night free, too, but was not part of RCG's Path). This was an amazing thing, and it completely locked in my coming to the evening, even more than everyone ever being so awed and amazed with it. I'm going to try and write this as the words and the movements.
The chant was two parts.
Part One
I am the heart of the Goddess
I am the heart of the Goddess
I am the heart of the Goddess
I am one with Love
During this section everyone is in one big circle. On the first line you place your hands on your own heart, acknowledging the Heart of the Goddess in you. On the second line you place your hands on the heart of your partner, acknowledging the heart of the Goddess in them. On the third line, you leave your right hand on the heart of your partner, and pull your left hand back to cover their hand on yours, acknowledging the heart of the goddess in both of you/everyone. On the last line you move around the circle to your next partner.
Part Two
We are your daughters
Let us heal the world with Love
During this, five of us (myself included, because it is a part for very high voices) came into the center of the circle. Outside of us, the rest of the group continued to sing the first part and do those movements. While we sang very slowly and very high noted. On the first line, while holding hands, we walked four steps in, lifting our joined hands to the sky. Then four steps out still holding, while singing the first four words of the second, and on the last three we turned ourselves around in a circle.
Before starting all over again. And running it pretty much endlessly, in and out, inside and outside, around and around.
It was so beautiful and so amazing.
After this, we wrote a self invocation to ourselves, meant to be written the same way as though we were invoking any other Goddess we might. We got scratch paper, and then a white heart to write our final draft on. I wrote mine in Purple, to tie it into my Temple of Twelve work, to Spiritual Dignity and Compassion. After we finished it, we were given the choice to invoke ourselves out loud, and then we punched a hole in it, and did a nine knot work spell on it, with a piece of rose quartz.
White heart, and pink rose quartz heart and green string. The pink and green for the Heart Chakra colors themselves. And then I didn't even think about it until a few minutes ago, but Lady Pink (of my heart) and Lord Purple (of words and ink) are probably quite happy to be guarding my Heart Chakra Spiritual Dignity and Unconditional Love, all there together.
During the whole day there was a pitcher on the altar and a huge bouquet of flowers, brought by each of the facilitators (mine were orange Gerber daises), and since we knew this would be a massively intense working for a lot of the people, including ourselves, we encourage women to tear off the petals and drop their 'tears' in the pitcher whenever they needed throughout the entire day.
I think I ended up there four or five times myself.
As the last thing of the day, we took the pitcher, full of water on top of all the colorful petals and walked out to our baby pomegranate tree we're growing. And there, amid all our sisters, together we 'poured out our heart' into it. We went around the circle, doing the same thing for our check-out that we did checking in. One word that The Heart Chakra meant to us now. So many of those words expressed the bliss or grief or intensity people felt.
And my word this time? Fingers patting over the bare skin of my heart, in the heartbeat of my heart, of my Heart Chakra, of the those there with me and without me, but in me regardless and with me now no matter how far apart a step can make that the heart defies to ever truly matter.
Love.
Then we had another group hug, at the request of one of the women and everyone's mass grateful wanting suddenly, as though she had given voice to everyone's heart there, around the tree before we were willing to part our ways and call the end of class.