I am not a fan of tears. I am, though, apparently, patron of the fountain.
Yeah. Again. Sigh. You'd think I was depressed or proud or something for the number of times I mention it happening. I suppose it's because I'm still not fully adjusted to this whole crying world of mine I've created. The one where when I'm hurting or even just a little sad, the tears come. After so many years of just not. Not crying much at all, regardless of the issue or the upset size.
Today and yesterday kind of blur. I wonder if the whole week will end up that way. I'm even closer to having packed everything, and, what with planning to be gone from tomorrow evening to Wednesday evening...I need to pack nearly everything tomorrow. Four days, four whole days, and then I'm going to vanish like dew under the Texas sunshine. I hope I do find calm over there in the Land of the Morning Calm. I know I will. It's just over the river and through the woods, across the ocean and away from the arms that were holding me tonight.
I saw Lavern last night, had my last dinner at Laposada Del Ray (my favorite Mexican restaurant in town since I was seventeen), and generally hung out. We talked about all the things she's missed out on in my last few weeks and she told me all about her trip to Europe, including handing over Christmas gifts to me (a Swarski crystal from Austria, and personalized Swiss army knife in purple from Switzerland). Middle of today was spent at my last Goddess Group, where we discussed the goddess of the last years we were dedicated to or who/what we were considering for the coming year. I brought supplies and showed them how to make black mirrors.
The evening was dinner (my favorite comfort food meal at Jim's) and dessert (a treat ice cream place I haven't gone in years) and a movie with Billy. Valkyrie was rather beautiful. While the ending is pre-set (like Titanic) and I have a penchant for all things World War II, the movie was brilliant and I didn't have huge issues with the main man (especially not with the constant jaw-dropping ensemble of actors). These are the kinds of stories I'm so glad to see are starting to be released about that time period. Being unafraid to show the multifaceted natures of people and the wars they are in.
I managed not to cry in the theatre (which had an impetus event which crashed my thoughts that a way, albeit a very stupid one). I failed during the drive home. He held my hand through it when it started, while driving on the highway, and kissed away the tears on my cheeks once I started again after we were parked outside my house; managed to make me laugh a lot which did stop it until I was inside my house again, which the mini deluge started walking up to my house and lasted for a little while once I was here/home. Enough to give me a mini-sinus pressure headache. I'm still a little amazed he's the only person I've cried near. Twice now. All other times on my bed or in a car.
My last dinner on Thursday will decimate that score. I'm timorous of that occasion already.
I should sleep. The actual VC Semi-Annual Sale is tomorrow morning and I am going to be there for the doors opening, followed by a long line of other plans my mother and I have ascribed to the day. Last minute buys and lots of packing up for two small trips, and finishing the big waves of packing. Tomorrow. Oh, to be the sunshine that will first grace the windowpanes and sheaves of grass tomorrow morning, simple and warm and sweetly golden. To sleep and to dream and to live loving my time as it is left to me.
Today and yesterday kind of blur. I wonder if the whole week will end up that way. I'm even closer to having packed everything, and, what with planning to be gone from tomorrow evening to Wednesday evening...I need to pack nearly everything tomorrow. Four days, four whole days, and then I'm going to vanish like dew under the Texas sunshine. I hope I do find calm over there in the Land of the Morning Calm. I know I will. It's just over the river and through the woods, across the ocean and away from the arms that were holding me tonight.
I saw Lavern last night, had my last dinner at Laposada Del Ray (my favorite Mexican restaurant in town since I was seventeen), and generally hung out. We talked about all the things she's missed out on in my last few weeks and she told me all about her trip to Europe, including handing over Christmas gifts to me (a Swarski crystal from Austria, and personalized Swiss army knife in purple from Switzerland). Middle of today was spent at my last Goddess Group, where we discussed the goddess of the last years we were dedicated to or who/what we were considering for the coming year. I brought supplies and showed them how to make black mirrors.
The evening was dinner (my favorite comfort food meal at Jim's) and dessert (a treat ice cream place I haven't gone in years) and a movie with Billy. Valkyrie was rather beautiful. While the ending is pre-set (like Titanic) and I have a penchant for all things World War II, the movie was brilliant and I didn't have huge issues with the main man (especially not with the constant jaw-dropping ensemble of actors). These are the kinds of stories I'm so glad to see are starting to be released about that time period. Being unafraid to show the multifaceted natures of people and the wars they are in.
I managed not to cry in the theatre (which had an impetus event which crashed my thoughts that a way, albeit a very stupid one). I failed during the drive home. He held my hand through it when it started, while driving on the highway, and kissed away the tears on my cheeks once I started again after we were parked outside my house; managed to make me laugh a lot which did stop it until I was inside my house again, which the mini deluge started walking up to my house and lasted for a little while once I was here/home. Enough to give me a mini-sinus pressure headache. I'm still a little amazed he's the only person I've cried near. Twice now. All other times on my bed or in a car.
My last dinner on Thursday will decimate that score. I'm timorous of that occasion already.
I should sleep. The actual VC Semi-Annual Sale is tomorrow morning and I am going to be there for the doors opening, followed by a long line of other plans my mother and I have ascribed to the day. Last minute buys and lots of packing up for two small trips, and finishing the big waves of packing. Tomorrow. Oh, to be the sunshine that will first grace the windowpanes and sheaves of grass tomorrow morning, simple and warm and sweetly golden. To sleep and to dream and to live loving my time as it is left to me.