(no subject)
i have this one big big happy memory, and it's frozen somewhere in yale -- between ivy and east melange and yorkside and bar and hgs dining hall (many many long dinners here) and kline geology laboratory and LC and the path behind the graveyard and morse. somewhere in italy too (mostly sicily). in this memory, the people don't change or age; they're just frozen.
(tangentially, the other day i accidentally googled 'bar', because i was looking for a bar near my place, and bar pizza new haven was the first result to come up).
i miss it all. i don't know whether i'll ever again spend a significant and meaningful amount of time with the people i had been close to, because we all live separate lives and we'll go our separate ways. and no matter how many frequent one-off dinners we have, how many meet-ups in cities all around the globe we have, i won't spend enough time with them to connect with them in significant ways.
and then there's the people i'll never see again: most of the morse community. even at the five-year reunion, they won't be back because they're from different years. on my actual last night in new haven, in the morse courtyard, i hugged goodbye to two people: ian and sarah. chances are i'll never see both of them again. it shouldn't matter so much, but it does.
it was in may that i graduated. that's six months ago. september when i left. that's only two months ago. it feels like forever ago; seasons slipping through my fingers that i can't hold on to.
i am very happy here in london, and it lessens the pain of transition. but even so.
(tangentially, the other day i accidentally googled 'bar', because i was looking for a bar near my place, and bar pizza new haven was the first result to come up).
i miss it all. i don't know whether i'll ever again spend a significant and meaningful amount of time with the people i had been close to, because we all live separate lives and we'll go our separate ways. and no matter how many frequent one-off dinners we have, how many meet-ups in cities all around the globe we have, i won't spend enough time with them to connect with them in significant ways.
and then there's the people i'll never see again: most of the morse community. even at the five-year reunion, they won't be back because they're from different years. on my actual last night in new haven, in the morse courtyard, i hugged goodbye to two people: ian and sarah. chances are i'll never see both of them again. it shouldn't matter so much, but it does.
it was in may that i graduated. that's six months ago. september when i left. that's only two months ago. it feels like forever ago; seasons slipping through my fingers that i can't hold on to.
i am very happy here in london, and it lessens the pain of transition. but even so.