Fuck it.
Done with the bad news. Don't want to hear it anymore. I just want to hear good news. For atleast a little while. I am not hiding from fuck-all, I just want to deal with my own problems and be done with it. Bob and Tonya are getting a divorce, that's their problem and not mine, neither one are looking to me or anyone else for solutions, they deal with it in their own way. D-money moved out to get away from his problems, so what...we have all left someone hanging for the mean time. It's his life and he does with it as he sees fit. Dusty has his own problems with women and the sorts, it is up to him how to deal with it. Baine keeps asking the question: "Why do people hate me?". I can't do anything to make their lives better or for them to move on with what they are doing. "people are going to do what they are going to do". That was a direct quote from me, one of life truths. I can not affect their lives when none of this has anything to do with me. Several times in my life I have become over involved with friends lives out of empathy. I get to this point of not necessarily giving up, but a sudden realization that I am not the answer to these people's problems, they don't need to listen to me, and even if they did, they might not be better off.
The moment I realized this is when I noticed that everytime I hear about more breaking news on any of these fronts I instantly go into a bad mood, and think to myself "why are they doing this? They know better". Then I realize all of the mistakes I have mad and how I pride myself on trying to not be self-righteous. I try to keep a level head when everything around me is chaotic, but that is not always the answer. I don't have all the answers. That's my point....Sometimes I wish I could be other people and see how all of this and their own problems effect them personally. what is their train of thought, etc.
Also on a more "vulnerable" note...I wish I could be emotional and confused like everyone else now and again. I wish I could look at my problems with a more visceral viewpoint and not look at all the angles of the problems at once. Just once in a while I wish I could have a knee jerk reaction that someone would react to.
The moment I realized this is when I noticed that everytime I hear about more breaking news on any of these fronts I instantly go into a bad mood, and think to myself "why are they doing this? They know better". Then I realize all of the mistakes I have mad and how I pride myself on trying to not be self-righteous. I try to keep a level head when everything around me is chaotic, but that is not always the answer. I don't have all the answers. That's my point....Sometimes I wish I could be other people and see how all of this and their own problems effect them personally. what is their train of thought, etc.
Also on a more "vulnerable" note...I wish I could be emotional and confused like everyone else now and again. I wish I could look at my problems with a more visceral viewpoint and not look at all the angles of the problems at once. Just once in a while I wish I could have a knee jerk reaction that someone would react to.