(no subject)
I need to get back to my _____
I have lost the _____
I dont know what the words are for those blanks, I have an idea just no word good enough to put in those blanks. I have been neglecting some very important things, not that I have not had the time, I just can't get back to that mindset. I have been thinking about the wrong things lately. no thats not you lindsay. beyond all that, which i will adress later here. but I havent posted in the forums, havent been able to concentrate on it, havent been able to concentrate on school work. some of it I hate, some frustrates me, some is just too easy so I let it slide to the side and in the mean time dont do anything really. I need something to feel accomplished in this part of my life. enough of bad, lets go to the good, very good.
I havent had a relationship in like 4 years. was starting to get used to the batchelor idea, bordering on monk. Then I feel for someone, or better yet I accept those feelings that had been smoldering there for a while. I take a huge gamble and end up with something very much worth that gamble. This is what they talk about when they say It finds you when you arent looking. I am at utter peace and comfort, but at the same time scared shitless, cause it seems to good. plus I am taking it as slow as I possibly can stand because so many other times I have rushed things or allowed things to become too serious too soon, and then something comes up and me and that person cant cope with it because we havent worked on the relationship, taken the time to really understand each other, I am not neccessarily talking about accepting everything abotu the other person, just the knowledge and understanding of who the person is and what to expect next. Course i am being surprised at every corner, but in good ways.
This whole thing is great cause as we have both said there just doesnt seem to be much change with us, we were friends already. There were several times where what we did could be considered dates in the eyes of other people, but we just enjoyed being around each other, so we went through the awkward stage with out the nervousness and need to please each other or fool each other as to who we think the other person wants us to be. There are no lies, pure honesty. Now i would be lying if I said there weren't things that have not been said, but eventually it comes out and we had no reason to be afraid, hell most of those things we were both thinking and even if that is not the case, there is no problem with blurting out something that doesnt make sense or sounds bad, like oh man that didnt come out right. So this is why I am going slow, there is no way i am going to lose this because of a dumb fight or misunderstanding. I am happy, very much so. I am appreciated and needed, yes needed i said it (inside joke). so yeah, le sigh.
I have lost the _____
I dont know what the words are for those blanks, I have an idea just no word good enough to put in those blanks. I have been neglecting some very important things, not that I have not had the time, I just can't get back to that mindset. I have been thinking about the wrong things lately. no thats not you lindsay. beyond all that, which i will adress later here. but I havent posted in the forums, havent been able to concentrate on it, havent been able to concentrate on school work. some of it I hate, some frustrates me, some is just too easy so I let it slide to the side and in the mean time dont do anything really. I need something to feel accomplished in this part of my life. enough of bad, lets go to the good, very good.
I havent had a relationship in like 4 years. was starting to get used to the batchelor idea, bordering on monk. Then I feel for someone, or better yet I accept those feelings that had been smoldering there for a while. I take a huge gamble and end up with something very much worth that gamble. This is what they talk about when they say It finds you when you arent looking. I am at utter peace and comfort, but at the same time scared shitless, cause it seems to good. plus I am taking it as slow as I possibly can stand because so many other times I have rushed things or allowed things to become too serious too soon, and then something comes up and me and that person cant cope with it because we havent worked on the relationship, taken the time to really understand each other, I am not neccessarily talking about accepting everything abotu the other person, just the knowledge and understanding of who the person is and what to expect next. Course i am being surprised at every corner, but in good ways.
This whole thing is great cause as we have both said there just doesnt seem to be much change with us, we were friends already. There were several times where what we did could be considered dates in the eyes of other people, but we just enjoyed being around each other, so we went through the awkward stage with out the nervousness and need to please each other or fool each other as to who we think the other person wants us to be. There are no lies, pure honesty. Now i would be lying if I said there weren't things that have not been said, but eventually it comes out and we had no reason to be afraid, hell most of those things we were both thinking and even if that is not the case, there is no problem with blurting out something that doesnt make sense or sounds bad, like oh man that didnt come out right. So this is why I am going slow, there is no way i am going to lose this because of a dumb fight or misunderstanding. I am happy, very much so. I am appreciated and needed, yes needed i said it (inside joke). so yeah, le sigh.