September the 19th: Well that was an exhuasting weekend
Geeze, for some reason today was just emotionally exhausting and it's not like I did much. I did bake the cake but it turned out fine, great even, guess all the worrying for having to bake it in two parts, make sure I was cooking for the right altitude, and mix it up in one bowl and two plastic containers is part of what did me in. Then pretty much the only thing I did this afternoon was shoot for my next photo assignment and, like the cooking, that was pretty darn makeshift. I'm tired of all the studio kids who whine about how they can only use the studio so and so number of times, at least y'all have something better than a bed sheet tacked above your bed, a beside lamp, flashlight propped up on a stack of books, and the little light that comes in a north facing window that's half blocked by the building. I don't know if I like the photos I made or not however, I actually did a lot of set up and tried to shoot first with my digital camera and then put the photos in black and white to see how the lighting was working but I'm not sure if that actually helped.
Also just didn't get that Zen feeling that I normally get from working on photos. Usually I feel really calm while shooting and calm, although a bit worried while developing, just accepting that I have to wait and then go from there, but today was just anxious. Guess it was just from actually having other people around and seeing how they were all talking cameras or had so many rolls of film to develop. Normally in those circumstances I can just shrug it off and go eff you but today it was just so many people that I started getting even more anxious, had to get my microwaveable, slightly spicy kinda Asian stir fy comfort food for dinner so I'd calm down. And I'm still worrying about my photo paper since I've found one or two places, one on campus even, that sell paper and I'm just not sure if there quite the right thing and I really don't want to buy the wrong thing. Gah, the schedule has been so wonky that I hadn't realized when I needed this stuff and I just don't know if I should order stuff that I think that's right, and pay for the fastest shipping I can get, or email my teacher and wait to hear back if the stuff on campus will work after all. Might as well fire off an email and then run around after wards, it's so frustrating that I can't just improvise with stuff like printing, I improvise with so much else in life that it's just annoying to realize I have to use very specialized stuff every now and then, feel like a waste.
And speaking of improvising I should probably work on my speech now and some art homework, at least that second one shouldn't take too long, regretting now that I have a speech Monday, just didn't realize how busy with weekend was going to be, I thought I was going to have more time to work on it. Gaaahhhhh, Monday and Tuesday will be crazy as well, fun times to look forward too, better have lots of chocolate or I'm going to have a nervous breakdown from all the stress, already had one Thursday, really don't want another so soon.
Also just didn't get that Zen feeling that I normally get from working on photos. Usually I feel really calm while shooting and calm, although a bit worried while developing, just accepting that I have to wait and then go from there, but today was just anxious. Guess it was just from actually having other people around and seeing how they were all talking cameras or had so many rolls of film to develop. Normally in those circumstances I can just shrug it off and go eff you but today it was just so many people that I started getting even more anxious, had to get my microwaveable, slightly spicy kinda Asian stir fy comfort food for dinner so I'd calm down. And I'm still worrying about my photo paper since I've found one or two places, one on campus even, that sell paper and I'm just not sure if there quite the right thing and I really don't want to buy the wrong thing. Gah, the schedule has been so wonky that I hadn't realized when I needed this stuff and I just don't know if I should order stuff that I think that's right, and pay for the fastest shipping I can get, or email my teacher and wait to hear back if the stuff on campus will work after all. Might as well fire off an email and then run around after wards, it's so frustrating that I can't just improvise with stuff like printing, I improvise with so much else in life that it's just annoying to realize I have to use very specialized stuff every now and then, feel like a waste.
And speaking of improvising I should probably work on my speech now and some art homework, at least that second one shouldn't take too long, regretting now that I have a speech Monday, just didn't realize how busy with weekend was going to be, I thought I was going to have more time to work on it. Gaaahhhhh, Monday and Tuesday will be crazy as well, fun times to look forward too, better have lots of chocolate or I'm going to have a nervous breakdown from all the stress, already had one Thursday, really don't want another so soon.