(no subject)
hum...
so here again at the keys..
it's funny trying to write when i know everything i've ever written ever on paper's been destroyed. i kept it all. the movie tickets with all my ex's and all the love letters, little trinkets and items of nothingness i've kept over the years. at first it was so much such a loss i said i had nothing i said i was lost and had nowhere to go.
then i realized i said the same when She left me.
i was so obsessed with Her that i couldn't find the time to care about myself. I ever still allowed myself to hate me. Hate the ruin i had let befall me and over take my mind and lifestyle.
i lost nothing in this storm and i'll retrospectively get nothing out of it. FEMA turned me down as did redcross and what little money my parents are going to give me won't even barely replace the endless books and writtings drawings and all the pictures i had from school and all my ex's and everything that didn't have a monetary value all the things that i put my own value on. That is what i lost and yet realized at the same time that i couldn't ever lose those things. I was there. I will always have those things. I will always have Her. As long as i remember and care to remember it's mine. Noone can take that from me and i guess in the end the moral is exactly as fight club says... "until you've lost everything, you're not truely ready to accept anything."...
silent fasting
slowly fading
something faintly
somewhere facing
severed famines
shouting flagrance
surely forsaken
sidney fox
so here again at the keys..
it's funny trying to write when i know everything i've ever written ever on paper's been destroyed. i kept it all. the movie tickets with all my ex's and all the love letters, little trinkets and items of nothingness i've kept over the years. at first it was so much such a loss i said i had nothing i said i was lost and had nowhere to go.
then i realized i said the same when She left me.
i was so obsessed with Her that i couldn't find the time to care about myself. I ever still allowed myself to hate me. Hate the ruin i had let befall me and over take my mind and lifestyle.
i lost nothing in this storm and i'll retrospectively get nothing out of it. FEMA turned me down as did redcross and what little money my parents are going to give me won't even barely replace the endless books and writtings drawings and all the pictures i had from school and all my ex's and everything that didn't have a monetary value all the things that i put my own value on. That is what i lost and yet realized at the same time that i couldn't ever lose those things. I was there. I will always have those things. I will always have Her. As long as i remember and care to remember it's mine. Noone can take that from me and i guess in the end the moral is exactly as fight club says... "until you've lost everything, you're not truely ready to accept anything."...
silent fasting
slowly fading
something faintly
somewhere facing
severed famines
shouting flagrance
surely forsaken
sidney fox