Wedding plans
Starting to feel like a wedding slacker. I know there's so much to be done, but I don't know where to start, and so I haven't. I think it's because there's so much room for failure, and I know people will pick apart every little thing that goes wrong, as people are inclined to do with weddings. I've done it myself, and heard even more of it, and I know how it goes:
-"Can you believe how small the bathrooms were?"
-"Oh my God, that videographer and his bright light were so obnoxious!"
-"Can you believe where they sat me?"
-"The waitstaff was awful! I couldn't even finish my food before they were taking my plate away!"
-"Can you believe how bad the food was?"
-"What the heck kind of salad was that? Looked like they went out in the backyard, picked a handful of weeds, and plopped it on a plate!"
-"Can you believe the songs the DJ was playing? It was like the 70s threw up on the dance floor! And really, why do people insist on playing the Chicken Dance and Electric Slide like anyone actually wants to do them?"
-“Ugh, that band was AWFUL! They only played one kind of music, and who can dance to that? And just how many breaks did they take?”
-"Oh my God, a cash bar? How tacky! I spent enough on their present, and now they expect me to pay for my booze on top of it?!"
-"Oh my God, her dress is hideous! Can you believe how heavy she looks in it? And can you believe she’s actually wearing white, hahaha!!!”
-“Ugh, the guys’ tuxes are so ugly!”
-“The wedding singer sounded like someone was strangling a cat!”
-“Can you believe how far the reception was from the church? And then we had to wait around for the bridal party to get there because they were too busy back at the church taking pictures?”
-“I give them 5 years, tops.”
Among others. And I’m just as guilty as the next person for saying some of these things. Others are beyond even MY cattiness, which is saying something, but I’ve heard them said.
So suffice to say, I’m pretty nervous about planning my wedding. No bride wants to hear any of these things said about one of the most important and special days in her life, a day she stressed over and put her heart and soul into making perfect. And one catty comment could bring the whole thing tumbling down. So my solution, naturally, would be to try and make the whole shebang as perfect as possible. I’m a perfectionist; it’s what I do. But I know that no matter what I do, something IS going to go wrong. Someone IS going to say something. The day is NOT going to be perfect. And I need to accept that and just do the best I can.
The thing I’m most worried about is the DJ, actually. I don’t even know where to start, and how to decide. I’ve got one recommendation that I want to meet with, but he hasn’t returned my email yet, and I’m starting to think differently about him. I think I’ll call tomorrow, and see how that goes. But I feel like music can make or break a reception. Good music will get everyone on the dance floor, having fun. Bad music makes for grumpy people who don’t want to leave their seats. So the music needs to be right. The DJ needs to be right. I don’t want someone cheesey who doesn’t play the songs I want to hear. I don’t want someone who’s making innuendos all night and generally making an ass of himself. I’ve seen DJs like that before. NOT good.
The other thing I’m worried about is the cash bar thing. It seems like a lot of people believe that a cash bar is the height of tackiness. They believe that, as your guests, they should not have to spent a red cent, that it’s rude to ask them to pay for their own alcoholic beverages. The figure that they spent enough on your present, why should they have to spend more, and on top of it, would you really ask your guests to pay for their own drinks at any other kind of party?
Well, my answer to that is that yes, you are my guest, which means that I value your friendship and presence in my life enough to want you present at the most important day of my life. Shouldn’t that mean more to you than whether or not I pay for your alcohol? I (and my parents) are shelling out tens of thousands of dollars, and I guarantee you that what we’re spending PER PERSON is probably more than your present cost. I am providing an open bar for cocktail hour, plus complimentary wine service with dinner, AND a champagne toast. That ought to be enough to give you a happy buzz. I don’t really want a ton of seriously drunk people at my wedding, so if you want to get hammered, I’d rather you do it on your own dime. I don’t want to be responsible for people drinking way more than they normally do because “it’s free.” If you want to drink, then I don’t see a problem with you buying your own drinks. I mean, half the parties you go to these days are BYOB, and I don’t have a problem with that. When I go to a wedding, I actually expect that there will be a cash bar and plan/budget accordingly. So if you have a major problem with/are seriously offended by the idea of a cash bar, let me know now and I’ll make sure to not invite you so as not to offend your sense of etiquette.
Ugh. I’m turning into Bridezilla, aren’t I? Sigh. Like we weren’t all expecting it anyway . . .
Listen, for those of you that will be invited to the wedding (expect your save the date cards sometime in late spring/early summer), please understand that I’m trying to make the day as enjoyable as possible, both for Scott and I, and for all of you. Please be tolerant and patient of any issues or unforeseen problems or poor planning on my part. I’m inviting you because you mean something to me, because you enrich my life in some way and I want to share this important day with you. I’m not asking for the most expensive presents in the world; I know what it’s like when money’s tight, and I don’t want you to stress about having to get some crazy expensive present - or a present at all, for that matter. Your presence is more important than your presents. (Ha, that was witty, wasn’t it?) So please just bear with me, okay?
Thanks.
-"Can you believe how small the bathrooms were?"
-"Oh my God, that videographer and his bright light were so obnoxious!"
-"Can you believe where they sat me?"
-"The waitstaff was awful! I couldn't even finish my food before they were taking my plate away!"
-"Can you believe how bad the food was?"
-"What the heck kind of salad was that? Looked like they went out in the backyard, picked a handful of weeds, and plopped it on a plate!"
-"Can you believe the songs the DJ was playing? It was like the 70s threw up on the dance floor! And really, why do people insist on playing the Chicken Dance and Electric Slide like anyone actually wants to do them?"
-“Ugh, that band was AWFUL! They only played one kind of music, and who can dance to that? And just how many breaks did they take?”
-"Oh my God, a cash bar? How tacky! I spent enough on their present, and now they expect me to pay for my booze on top of it?!"
-"Oh my God, her dress is hideous! Can you believe how heavy she looks in it? And can you believe she’s actually wearing white, hahaha!!!”
-“Ugh, the guys’ tuxes are so ugly!”
-“The wedding singer sounded like someone was strangling a cat!”
-“Can you believe how far the reception was from the church? And then we had to wait around for the bridal party to get there because they were too busy back at the church taking pictures?”
-“I give them 5 years, tops.”
Among others. And I’m just as guilty as the next person for saying some of these things. Others are beyond even MY cattiness, which is saying something, but I’ve heard them said.
So suffice to say, I’m pretty nervous about planning my wedding. No bride wants to hear any of these things said about one of the most important and special days in her life, a day she stressed over and put her heart and soul into making perfect. And one catty comment could bring the whole thing tumbling down. So my solution, naturally, would be to try and make the whole shebang as perfect as possible. I’m a perfectionist; it’s what I do. But I know that no matter what I do, something IS going to go wrong. Someone IS going to say something. The day is NOT going to be perfect. And I need to accept that and just do the best I can.
The thing I’m most worried about is the DJ, actually. I don’t even know where to start, and how to decide. I’ve got one recommendation that I want to meet with, but he hasn’t returned my email yet, and I’m starting to think differently about him. I think I’ll call tomorrow, and see how that goes. But I feel like music can make or break a reception. Good music will get everyone on the dance floor, having fun. Bad music makes for grumpy people who don’t want to leave their seats. So the music needs to be right. The DJ needs to be right. I don’t want someone cheesey who doesn’t play the songs I want to hear. I don’t want someone who’s making innuendos all night and generally making an ass of himself. I’ve seen DJs like that before. NOT good.
The other thing I’m worried about is the cash bar thing. It seems like a lot of people believe that a cash bar is the height of tackiness. They believe that, as your guests, they should not have to spent a red cent, that it’s rude to ask them to pay for their own alcoholic beverages. The figure that they spent enough on your present, why should they have to spend more, and on top of it, would you really ask your guests to pay for their own drinks at any other kind of party?
Well, my answer to that is that yes, you are my guest, which means that I value your friendship and presence in my life enough to want you present at the most important day of my life. Shouldn’t that mean more to you than whether or not I pay for your alcohol? I (and my parents) are shelling out tens of thousands of dollars, and I guarantee you that what we’re spending PER PERSON is probably more than your present cost. I am providing an open bar for cocktail hour, plus complimentary wine service with dinner, AND a champagne toast. That ought to be enough to give you a happy buzz. I don’t really want a ton of seriously drunk people at my wedding, so if you want to get hammered, I’d rather you do it on your own dime. I don’t want to be responsible for people drinking way more than they normally do because “it’s free.” If you want to drink, then I don’t see a problem with you buying your own drinks. I mean, half the parties you go to these days are BYOB, and I don’t have a problem with that. When I go to a wedding, I actually expect that there will be a cash bar and plan/budget accordingly. So if you have a major problem with/are seriously offended by the idea of a cash bar, let me know now and I’ll make sure to not invite you so as not to offend your sense of etiquette.
Ugh. I’m turning into Bridezilla, aren’t I? Sigh. Like we weren’t all expecting it anyway . . .
Listen, for those of you that will be invited to the wedding (expect your save the date cards sometime in late spring/early summer), please understand that I’m trying to make the day as enjoyable as possible, both for Scott and I, and for all of you. Please be tolerant and patient of any issues or unforeseen problems or poor planning on my part. I’m inviting you because you mean something to me, because you enrich my life in some way and I want to share this important day with you. I’m not asking for the most expensive presents in the world; I know what it’s like when money’s tight, and I don’t want you to stress about having to get some crazy expensive present - or a present at all, for that matter. Your presence is more important than your presents. (Ha, that was witty, wasn’t it?) So please just bear with me, okay?
Thanks.