For Nick (a meme)
Nick asked me to write about five words, so here we go. {In fairness, I've not been feeling up to updating lately, so this was a nice push, so thanks buddy :) }
~Well, as of this minute on this day, I do not has one. I have been out of work for little over a month, and I have already resolved that this month is going to be much different than last month. I am not going to give up as easily, I'm going to remain positive, and I'm going to just take things one day at a time. I've done a lot of research and gotten many books out of the library, redone my resume, and the next step is applying to temp agencies and waiting to hear back from things. In the meantime, I am constantly revising my focus and my goals and aspirations, and whatever comes my way, whether it be Au Bon Pain or Americorps, I will be grateful for this time I had. It has sucked, a lot, but you can't really appreciate the good things unless you go through the bad first, right? I used to think that was total bullshit, but I believe it now more than ever.
~I could go on for hours about home. What home means to me. What home is supposed to feel like. Where home is, and how location to me means more than any home. Jesus, just do a quick scan of the last three years of my lj and you'll see that all I practically write about is home issues. When I think about home now, I think about how safe I feel in any particular location. If I feel loved, if I feel comfortable. I love my new home/apartment at Marshfield, and it's mere existence, as my second apartment in the city, has made Chicago more of a home as well. I feel at home in California because I am around the people that I love with all my heart, and what's nice about my California home is that it finally smells like home, so that's cool. For some reason that is a big deal to me. Michigan will always be my childhood home, but as time goes by and I go back less, it no longer has such an intense pull upon me. So I guess I can sum it up by saying I feel the best and most at home when I'm loved, and it doesn't matter much physical location anymore. It's taken me a long time to get here, but damn does it feel good.
~I just touched upon this in the home section, but I can elaborate a little more. Like I said, being loved is feeling safe and secure, and feeling at home. I am lucky enough to have love in my lifte in tons of ways, with my family, friends, and even a crazy wonderful bf. I told Nick already the reason I don't wax on ad naseum about this boy is because I don't want to be that girl, I hate that girl she's so annoying! but I still think it's pretty crazy that I feel so strongly about someone so consistently. More than loving him, he's helped me to love myself a lot more, and as cliche as that sounds, it is also true. I think love is so powerful because it can help bring the best parts of you out of hiding and make them shine brighter than you ever thought possible. And that's all the sap you're getting from me on that one.
~I used to think that wandering had like a negative connotation, like "wandering aimlessly". Now I love wandering, exploring, and enjoying. Slowing down and smelling the roses, all that baloney. It really is all that it's cracked up to be, and I suggest you try it :) I could write more but I have really run out of steam here. (for more information on wandering, see my journal heading. I think it still says "Not all who wander are lost."
~I have typed too much already, so I'll make this one short. No one knows the future. You could plan for the future forever and still have it get effed up in the end. People plan their weddings for months and then it rains. People plan for trips and then shit happens. In the end, it's best to have ideas but live every day in the moment and just be grateful. (I wish I rememebred this more!) Tentatively, my future plans involve getting a job (please please please) and going to grad school sometime in the next five years or so. I'm really hot on this food security thing I talked about with my advisor and there's a kick ass program in London that I'd love to check out. If what Dr. Rotenberg says is true, more and more schools will be offering it, and that will give me more options, but grad school in London sounds amaaazing. Oh, but I don't want to have to pay for it. So there's that finagling to be done as well. Hm.
If you put up with this, you win a gold star. Maybe this makes up for my lack of recent entries :)
~Well, as of this minute on this day, I do not has one. I have been out of work for little over a month, and I have already resolved that this month is going to be much different than last month. I am not going to give up as easily, I'm going to remain positive, and I'm going to just take things one day at a time. I've done a lot of research and gotten many books out of the library, redone my resume, and the next step is applying to temp agencies and waiting to hear back from things. In the meantime, I am constantly revising my focus and my goals and aspirations, and whatever comes my way, whether it be Au Bon Pain or Americorps, I will be grateful for this time I had. It has sucked, a lot, but you can't really appreciate the good things unless you go through the bad first, right? I used to think that was total bullshit, but I believe it now more than ever.
~I could go on for hours about home. What home means to me. What home is supposed to feel like. Where home is, and how location to me means more than any home. Jesus, just do a quick scan of the last three years of my lj and you'll see that all I practically write about is home issues. When I think about home now, I think about how safe I feel in any particular location. If I feel loved, if I feel comfortable. I love my new home/apartment at Marshfield, and it's mere existence, as my second apartment in the city, has made Chicago more of a home as well. I feel at home in California because I am around the people that I love with all my heart, and what's nice about my California home is that it finally smells like home, so that's cool. For some reason that is a big deal to me. Michigan will always be my childhood home, but as time goes by and I go back less, it no longer has such an intense pull upon me. So I guess I can sum it up by saying I feel the best and most at home when I'm loved, and it doesn't matter much physical location anymore. It's taken me a long time to get here, but damn does it feel good.
~I just touched upon this in the home section, but I can elaborate a little more. Like I said, being loved is feeling safe and secure, and feeling at home. I am lucky enough to have love in my lifte in tons of ways, with my family, friends, and even a crazy wonderful bf. I told Nick already the reason I don't wax on ad naseum about this boy is because I don't want to be that girl, I hate that girl she's so annoying! but I still think it's pretty crazy that I feel so strongly about someone so consistently. More than loving him, he's helped me to love myself a lot more, and as cliche as that sounds, it is also true. I think love is so powerful because it can help bring the best parts of you out of hiding and make them shine brighter than you ever thought possible. And that's all the sap you're getting from me on that one.
~I used to think that wandering had like a negative connotation, like "wandering aimlessly". Now I love wandering, exploring, and enjoying. Slowing down and smelling the roses, all that baloney. It really is all that it's cracked up to be, and I suggest you try it :) I could write more but I have really run out of steam here. (for more information on wandering, see my journal heading. I think it still says "Not all who wander are lost."
~I have typed too much already, so I'll make this one short. No one knows the future. You could plan for the future forever and still have it get effed up in the end. People plan their weddings for months and then it rains. People plan for trips and then shit happens. In the end, it's best to have ideas but live every day in the moment and just be grateful. (I wish I rememebred this more!) Tentatively, my future plans involve getting a job (please please please) and going to grad school sometime in the next five years or so. I'm really hot on this food security thing I talked about with my advisor and there's a kick ass program in London that I'd love to check out. If what Dr. Rotenberg says is true, more and more schools will be offering it, and that will give me more options, but grad school in London sounds amaaazing. Oh, but I don't want to have to pay for it. So there's that finagling to be done as well. Hm.
If you put up with this, you win a gold star. Maybe this makes up for my lack of recent entries :)