ERM, EXCUSE ME.

[ripperthegreat]

 I DON'T SEEM TO KNOW WHERE I AM. IT'S THIS BLASTED NUISANCE OF A COMPUTER'S WHAT DID IT, I'M QUITE SURE OF IT.  LAST THING I REMEMBER, WILLOW WAS REASSURING ME THAT IT WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING, AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE. THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A PORTAL OR HELL GOD CHANNELING ITS POWERS THROUGH THE MACHINE. AGAIN.

*SIGHS*
AT LEAST THERE DON'T SEEM TO BE ANY

Comments

[spikesprincess]

WHAT NINE SAID. IT'S WEIRD. AND SHOUTY.

MISS ME?

[ripperthegreat]

DRUSILLA?

*ALARMED, BACKS AWAY STAMMERING*
I-- I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I STILL HAVE THIS CROSS WITH ME. AND I HAVE AN EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF SPELLS. SO.. DON'T TRY ANYTHING.

AND YES, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE IS REMARKABLY LOUD ALTHOUGH I WAS UNAWARE OF IT BEFORE.

[spikesprincess]

*AWWW, HE'S SO CUTE WHEN HE'S SCARED!*

I'M TERRIFIED. TRULY. SEE, MY EYEBROWS ARE RAISED IN FEAR. *OR AMUSEMENT, WHICHEVER*

YOU'LL FORGET ABOUT IT AFTER A WHILE, UNTIL YOU NEED A LOZENGE.

[ripperthegreat]

YOU.. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME, CREATURE OF THE NIGHT.

*READIES A FIREBALL-LIKE SPELL THING*

THIS IS QUITE BAD FOR YOUR VOICE YOU KNOW, YET I CAN'T SEEM TO STOP. AND I CAN'T SING IF MY VOICE IS HOARSE. DID YOU DO THIS WITH YOUR HYPNOTIC WAYS? FORCE EVERYONE TO BE ALL SHOUTY?

[spikesprincess]

OOH PRETTY. DOES IT ROAST MARSHMALLOWS? I LIKE MARSHMALLOWS, THEY'RE VERY TASTY WITH SOME A+ DRIZZLED ON TOP.

YES, EVERYONE HERE IS HERE BECAUSE MY BRAIN CAN BRING PEOPLE OUT OF TIME AND SPACE. I FORCE THEM TO SHOUT BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY, AND THEN I TOSS THEM INTO A BLACK HOLE THAT I NAMED FRODO. YOU SAW RIGHT THROUGH MY CUNNING PLAN. *SIDE EYE*

[ripperthegreat]

DON'T PLAY YOUR GAMES WITH ME, VAMPIRE. YOU'RE CLEARLY BLUFFING.

I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR ME, BUT ARE YOU ACTUALLY ABLE TO VAMP--SORRY, WRONG WORD.. ERM. ARE YOU A THREAT TO ME AT THE PRESENT TIME?

*ADJUSTS GLASSES* AND YES, ACTUALLY, I'VE TRIED AND IT DOES MAKE A NICE ROASTED MARSHMALLOW, WHICH IS USEFUL DURING LONG STUDY/STAKEOUT NIGHTS WITH BUFFY.

[spikesprincess]

THAT'S NICE. I IMAGINE IT MAY ALSO DO POPCORN QUITE NICELY.

*!VAMP FACE!* I'M ALWAYS A THREAT, BUT I'M NOT HUNGRY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR NECK BEING RIPPED OUT. TONIGHT. *GRIN*

[ripperthegreat]

*GRABS CROSS AND HOLDS IT IN FRONT OF HIM*

YOU JUST.. YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME. I DON'T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BEING EATEN. OR HAVING YOUR FACE ATTACHED TO MY JUGULAR.

[spikesprincess]

YOU ASKED IF I WAS ABLE TO "VAMP OUT" AND I SHOWED YOU. JUST SAYING YES WOULD HAVE BEEN RATHER BORING.

[ripperthegreat]

NOT WHAT I MEANT.

I WAS HOPING YOUR EVIL DEMONRY WOULD BE RENDERED INEFFECTIVE, WHICH WOULD MAKE ME FEEL QUITE SAFER AS FAR AS BODILY HARM GOES.

APPARENTLY NOT. *PUTS CROSS ON ROPE NECKLACE THING FOR FUTURE USE*

[spikesprincess]

YOUR BODY IS SAFE, TRUST ME. WHILE I DO ENJOY PLAYING WITH MY FOOD, SEEING A GROWN MAN SQUEAL LIKE A LITTLE GIRL ISN'T A VERY SPORTING HUNT.

HOW ABOUT WE MAKE A LITTLE DEAL? WHILE WE'RE IN THIS LITTLE PLACE I WON'T RIP YOUR ARTERIES OUT AND SUCK ON THEM LIKE STRAWS, AND YOU WON'T STAKE ME.

DEAL?

[ripperthegreat]

*RESIGNED, REALIZING HE HAS NO OTHER CHOICE*
...VERY WELL.

..WOULD YOU LIKE A MARSHMALLOW?

[spikesprincess]

OOH YES PLEASE!

DO YOU LIKE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS? *TAKES PACKAGE OF REESE'S CUPS OUT OF HER POCKET* THEY'RE VERY TASTY.

[ripperthegreat]

OOH, I DO, ACTUALLY. THEY'RE QUITE DELECTABLE, THANK YOU.

NOW TO GET FUEL FOR A FIRE FOR MARSHMALLOWS. I'D JUST SIMPLY HOLD THE ENCHANTED FLAME BUT IT GETS QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE HEATED GOOEYNESS OF THE MARSHMALLOW WHEN IT FALLS OFF THE STICK. AND I JUST CAN'T RISK MY TOMES CATCHING FIRE, BUT... *SPOTS BOOK WITH WHITE AND RED CHESS PIECES ON IT*

I DON'T EXACTLY NEED A BOOK ON CHESS AS I'M EXCELLENT AT IT.
*SETS IT ON FIRE AND HANDS DRU A STICK*

[spikesprincess]

IT WOULD BE VERY SAD IF YOUR BOOKS WERE TO CATCH FIRE. I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN VALUABLE BOOKS BURN, YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THEIR KNOWLEDGE CRY OUT IN PAIN.

*TAKES HER STICK AND SMILES AS SHE OPENS THE PACK OF REESE'S CUPS* I LIKE TO BURN MY MARSHMALLOWS SOMETIMES, THE BLACK PART IS CRUNCHY BUT STILL SWEET.

[ripperthegreat]

I AGREE. I CAN'T STAND TO SEE SOMETHING OF THAT IMPORTANCE GO UP IN FLAME.
THIS BOOK, HOWEVER, IS COMPLETE RUBBISH. SO I DON'T MIND BURNING IT AT ALL.

*STARTS MUNCHING ON ROASTED MARSHMALLOW*
GOOEY ON THE INSIDE IS PERFECT BY ME, BUT I PREFER THEM LIGHTLY BROWNED.

((DANGIT YOU'RE MAKING ME WANNA BUY A PACK OF MARSHMALLOWS AND A LIGHTER OR SOMETHING))