So...Here I go again...
Well.. I met another guy. He's so awesome, but knowing my luck, it won't work out. Ughh.. I just wish I could meet like a really awesome Christian guy who would like me so much that he would wait. I dont understand, I waited for a guy for 3 1/2 years and never gave up until after that. I am most likely not going to Master's Commission anymore because I feel like God wants me to go to a Christian College. Not only that, but I just really dont have that big of a desire to go to Master's Commission anymore. I dont know. Its like.. I know it may seem like alot of time, but my 18th birthday is in like a year and 3 months. I did it, why wont someone do it for me?! I just dont get it. I must really be worth nothing. I mean, I am not the kind of person to say something like that, but seriosuly.. I mean, I dont know. Noone that I know likes me even slightly. Its like I give everything I have to the people around me, yet noone sees me. Noone sees that. Its like I am not even here. I just want that thing that everyone else has. So badly. I just.. I am so lonely right now. I have prectically no friends at school. Like, everyone at my school has their own little cliques and I just dont like that so I talk to everyone, but there are about 3 people that I could call up and be like *hey lets hang* and we could. I just dont get why. Like, I am nice to like everyone. The only friends I have are at church and we never do anything anymore together... except for a select few. And like.. the only person I really really talk to is Aaron and like.. he just doesnt understand me. Noone does except for God. I dont know. I just.. like.. I wish someone on earth understood. Like.. I miss Paige so bad I could am like in tears right now. Like.. I dont think I have ever been so lonely in my life since Pastor Tommy left. I just wish I had someone to talk to.. Someone who understands me.