(no subject)
I think i may have started a trend.... everyone's so depressed nowadays... it's so.. (for lack of the use of a better word) DEPRESSING!!! i dunno..
I'm so sad now too, pixxy i'm sry i'm such a loser for not hanging out with you and calling you and stuff.. i'm really sry i just get real busy and i just don't think i fit in with you and you friends. Your lifestyle seems so much different than mine and i don't know somehomw i feel as though i may bore you or not be good enough to chill with you. I also don't know how to chill with people because i'm always doing stuff. So if i seem like one of those people who only talks to you when i need something or if you're my close buddy i appologize.. i'm just so damn busy... damn chink.. anywho.. sry
and ian i got your present... when do you want it??? and i tend to make situations awkward so i'm sry if my post was out of the blue i do stupid stuff because i'm stupid...
um.. well, my future scares me, i wanna be someone, but i just don't know what to do. The flow always seems like i get up, then something slams my face into the ground, completely shattering all i want to do. i dunno, again over-exaggerating, but i have been watching this for a while... not saying it started with you ian, but like i had a good loveing relationship, content as i was, then BAM! over... I start going to class regularly and get myself back on track, then BAM! get yelled at for skipping before. I get together the perfect band of talented artists, we get studio time, and practice dates, then BAM! the drummer can't come. We get a show at the BRICKHOUSE! and BAM! meeting in Ephrata that very same weekend... I dunno, maybe i was just born to be a loser. I mean honestly in the long run i lose at everything. I'm supposed to be this out going, cool, fun-loving, "happy go lucky", naturall born whatever and all it gets me is punched in the face. Who am i? I'm ALyssa, that's it. I'm alyssa, i mean i'm sure i could be a little more optimistic, but this is LJ, who's optimistic??? heh.. sry.
Life doesn't really make a lot of sense to me right now, I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!! but all i'm saying is life gets so much easier when you're dead. I mean, you don't have to deal with the people you hurt, no more school, no finances, no worrying about what i'm going to be when i grow up, no relationships, no feelings.. NOTHING! zip nada zero NOTHING!! It just sounds more enjoyable, and maybe that's just cause i'm lazy and i like the easy way out. I sound really selfish right now, really i'm just rambling, you can stop right here if you want.
WARNING: please don't take my advice about death and do not try any of these stunts at home
but anywho, i'm done now, and not really tired, but must go to sleep... such a loser.. an alone loser...
"you could be surrounded by people in the middle of pioneer square and still be the lonliest person..."
-previoius phychatrist
I'm so sad now too, pixxy i'm sry i'm such a loser for not hanging out with you and calling you and stuff.. i'm really sry i just get real busy and i just don't think i fit in with you and you friends. Your lifestyle seems so much different than mine and i don't know somehomw i feel as though i may bore you or not be good enough to chill with you. I also don't know how to chill with people because i'm always doing stuff. So if i seem like one of those people who only talks to you when i need something or if you're my close buddy i appologize.. i'm just so damn busy... damn chink.. anywho.. sry
and ian i got your present... when do you want it??? and i tend to make situations awkward so i'm sry if my post was out of the blue i do stupid stuff because i'm stupid...
um.. well, my future scares me, i wanna be someone, but i just don't know what to do. The flow always seems like i get up, then something slams my face into the ground, completely shattering all i want to do. i dunno, again over-exaggerating, but i have been watching this for a while... not saying it started with you ian, but like i had a good loveing relationship, content as i was, then BAM! over... I start going to class regularly and get myself back on track, then BAM! get yelled at for skipping before. I get together the perfect band of talented artists, we get studio time, and practice dates, then BAM! the drummer can't come. We get a show at the BRICKHOUSE! and BAM! meeting in Ephrata that very same weekend... I dunno, maybe i was just born to be a loser. I mean honestly in the long run i lose at everything. I'm supposed to be this out going, cool, fun-loving, "happy go lucky", naturall born whatever and all it gets me is punched in the face. Who am i? I'm ALyssa, that's it. I'm alyssa, i mean i'm sure i could be a little more optimistic, but this is LJ, who's optimistic??? heh.. sry.
Life doesn't really make a lot of sense to me right now, I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!! but all i'm saying is life gets so much easier when you're dead. I mean, you don't have to deal with the people you hurt, no more school, no finances, no worrying about what i'm going to be when i grow up, no relationships, no feelings.. NOTHING! zip nada zero NOTHING!! It just sounds more enjoyable, and maybe that's just cause i'm lazy and i like the easy way out. I sound really selfish right now, really i'm just rambling, you can stop right here if you want.
WARNING: please don't take my advice about death and do not try any of these stunts at home
but anywho, i'm done now, and not really tired, but must go to sleep... such a loser.. an alone loser...
"you could be surrounded by people in the middle of pioneer square and still be the lonliest person..."
-previoius phychatrist