The Way Of The Bone China
The Way of the Bone China is Nigh...
Vegans won't touch it. Grandmothers everywhere adore it. Royal faces embellish it.
Just what is Bone China?
Well, a long time ago in China it was discovered that combining white clay with finely crushed animal bone fortified the resulting compound, and thus delicate, more intricate pieces of work could be created. Some pieces of bone china are so fine, if you filled a teacup, for example, it would drain immediately and piss the char everywhere. Which, is why you only ever see bone china teacups and saucers on display in Granny's glass cabinet. Having said that. a joyous transfer of Diana & Charles will offer some waterproofing, but Granny wouldn't dare let me close enough to prove that theory. She had laser-beam sensors in place, and an autonomous knitting-needle gun tracking my every move.
Yup, Gran's got the power...
So where am I going with this?
Well, Myrtle, I'm glad you asked.
Consider all the Tea in China. Got it, yeah? That's a lot of tea.
Where's it going to be made when you have visitors? Certainly not in those sieve-tastic bone-china teapots, cups and saucers!
It's going into the pseudo-bone-china. Yep, that's also made in China, but it's basically baked play-doughed lined with Teflon (C).
That's right, the same stuff they line NASA space-shuttles with. Uhuh, stops the multi-billion dollar hulk of research burning up on re-entry to the atmosphere (technically speaking, the Ionosphere...see that's where Oxygen-three molecules dwell and cause havoc with homesick spacecraft).
Ever wondered, as a visitor to Granny's house why your cup of char seems ok to hold, then you put it to your lips and...
...fucking lava! Defies the laws of physics...being at 250 degrees Centigrade at normal atmospheric pressure? That's the Teflon coating on the mock china y'see.
Granny knows the secrets of making Tea as hot as the surface of Venus in Winter. She also has a heavily fortified display cabinet to stop roaming fingers playing with the Bone-China within.
Granny has also survived World War 2, several economic depressions, and an over-baked Raspberry Tort, living to recall the tale.
If it weren't for useless (but highly valuable) teapots cups and saucers, expensive synthetic materials, such as Teflon (C), could not be marketed and thus become cheaper and more affordable. Yep. Teflon used to be $1,257 a kilogram in 1992. And now the Chinese Manufacturers are chucking it in like cheap plastic into their products.
The same applies to Mobile phones, CD players, Blu-ray, and other rediculously priced products. It's only because the originals were made from Bonafide Bone China..
,,,although I could be just guessing
Vegans won't touch it. Grandmothers everywhere adore it. Royal faces embellish it.
Just what is Bone China?
Well, a long time ago in China it was discovered that combining white clay with finely crushed animal bone fortified the resulting compound, and thus delicate, more intricate pieces of work could be created. Some pieces of bone china are so fine, if you filled a teacup, for example, it would drain immediately and piss the char everywhere. Which, is why you only ever see bone china teacups and saucers on display in Granny's glass cabinet. Having said that. a joyous transfer of Diana & Charles will offer some waterproofing, but Granny wouldn't dare let me close enough to prove that theory. She had laser-beam sensors in place, and an autonomous knitting-needle gun tracking my every move.
Yup, Gran's got the power...
So where am I going with this?
Well, Myrtle, I'm glad you asked.
Consider all the Tea in China. Got it, yeah? That's a lot of tea.
Where's it going to be made when you have visitors? Certainly not in those sieve-tastic bone-china teapots, cups and saucers!
It's going into the pseudo-bone-china. Yep, that's also made in China, but it's basically baked play-doughed lined with Teflon (C).
That's right, the same stuff they line NASA space-shuttles with. Uhuh, stops the multi-billion dollar hulk of research burning up on re-entry to the atmosphere (technically speaking, the Ionosphere...see that's where Oxygen-three molecules dwell and cause havoc with homesick spacecraft).
Ever wondered, as a visitor to Granny's house why your cup of char seems ok to hold, then you put it to your lips and...
...fucking lava! Defies the laws of physics...being at 250 degrees Centigrade at normal atmospheric pressure? That's the Teflon coating on the mock china y'see.
Granny knows the secrets of making Tea as hot as the surface of Venus in Winter. She also has a heavily fortified display cabinet to stop roaming fingers playing with the Bone-China within.
Granny has also survived World War 2, several economic depressions, and an over-baked Raspberry Tort, living to recall the tale.
If it weren't for useless (but highly valuable) teapots cups and saucers, expensive synthetic materials, such as Teflon (C), could not be marketed and thus become cheaper and more affordable. Yep. Teflon used to be $1,257 a kilogram in 1992. And now the Chinese Manufacturers are chucking it in like cheap plastic into their products.
The same applies to Mobile phones, CD players, Blu-ray, and other rediculously priced products. It's only because the originals were made from Bonafide Bone China..
,,,although I could be just guessing