My greatest loss
Revisiting past memories today.
I kept the archives of our conversations on msn, and I was just reading through them. It's been so many years, but I still feel the same way as before. I hate having to lose you. I hate having to lose that one person who always knew the right things to say to me to make me feel better, who understood me and accepted my flaws and could still love me for who I was.
You were like my best friend in every way possible, and unlike what you thought, it still hurts me today that you're gone.
You were right. One day we would become strangers; you said you'd see to it. You wanted it to end. Congratulations, you got what you wanted.
I let you go because in my own way, I loved you too. You said all you ever wanted was for me to be happy. Well, I wasn't. And even now, I still feel sad. I read through all that you said to me and I just want to cry all over again. I actually dreamt about you that night, and all those words you ever said to me, I heard you say it to me again in my dream.
Then I woke up and it really hurt. And now as I'm sitting here, I'm starting to realise how selfish I was too, and how thoroughly insensitive. Who am I to complain that you're gone? I simply wasn't worth keeping.
I saw you the other day. I hesitated for a moment before I got up to chase after you. But you were gone, I didn't know which way you went. Then I realised this is the second time you've slipped through my fingers and I was so angry with myself for even hesitating.
I don't know if you'd read this, but I want you to know something. I still miss you. Whenever I'm down, I still have the reflex to want to go look for you. We may behave like strangers now, but you'll never be a stranger to me.
I kept the archives of our conversations on msn, and I was just reading through them. It's been so many years, but I still feel the same way as before. I hate having to lose you. I hate having to lose that one person who always knew the right things to say to me to make me feel better, who understood me and accepted my flaws and could still love me for who I was.
You were like my best friend in every way possible, and unlike what you thought, it still hurts me today that you're gone.
You were right. One day we would become strangers; you said you'd see to it. You wanted it to end. Congratulations, you got what you wanted.
I let you go because in my own way, I loved you too. You said all you ever wanted was for me to be happy. Well, I wasn't. And even now, I still feel sad. I read through all that you said to me and I just want to cry all over again. I actually dreamt about you that night, and all those words you ever said to me, I heard you say it to me again in my dream.
Then I woke up and it really hurt. And now as I'm sitting here, I'm starting to realise how selfish I was too, and how thoroughly insensitive. Who am I to complain that you're gone? I simply wasn't worth keeping.
I saw you the other day. I hesitated for a moment before I got up to chase after you. But you were gone, I didn't know which way you went. Then I realised this is the second time you've slipped through my fingers and I was so angry with myself for even hesitating.
I don't know if you'd read this, but I want you to know something. I still miss you. Whenever I'm down, I still have the reflex to want to go look for you. We may behave like strangers now, but you'll never be a stranger to me.