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lving_darkness January 2 2015, 21:10:48 UTC
(oh wow, this is more depressing than happy. Sorry.....!!)

The first thing you learn if you group up on the wrong side of the American Dream is that there are no Take-Backsies, no do-overs, no second chances. Alex pities those who think that these things exist. Who think that saying “sorry” erases the pain, and the anger and the burnt feeling at the base of the heart. But. But, there are moments, nights wrapped around Jo’s body where he lets his mind wander. Let’s himself softly fade away into a dreamland where he gets his second chance, he gets his do over.

They are interns again. She is blonde and beautiful. She is the sun on the first day of spring. How could he ever have forgotten her brightness? She is the warmth to his cold, she is the gentle curve to his edge. Her laugh brightens every corner his glare darkens.

In his dreams, he uses the wisdom that 10 years has given him to be less callous, less cruel. He holds her hand, and doesn't let his anger get the best of him. Doesn't let pride hide his love, his desire. He takes her in his arms and tells her all the things he should have told from the beginning.

You complete me
You know me
Together we can accomplish anything
You don’t have to hide anything from me
Sometimes I’m an asshole but it’s only because I’m afraid.

He is the one that finds the spot on her skin, one sultry day in the shower, a puckered red disproportionate freckle in the center of her lower back. Doctor’s hands and lover’s eyes mark it, and she never loses a strand of sunlight.

He is biased in her beauty, but who could blame him? Second chances elevate her to the next level.

Their wedding is not a rushed death march. Instead it is a slow and steady walk, her fingers touching every element, burlap and mason jars at the reception. She wears soft lace, and his tie is a soft blue to match her eyes.

If dreams could capture eternity he would never wake.

He rouses most days disappointed. Looks at Jo and settles for the here and now. There are no second chances.

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waltzmatildah January 3 2015, 05:29:27 UTC
Firstly, excuse me while I just a squeal a little over here to myself about the fact that YOU ARE HERE AT ALL, OMG!!!

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!

And now, just to put the cherry on my massive bowl of chocolate ice-cream, you come baring ALEX/IZZIE FIC FOR ME?!

(and, also, you SO know me and know that you never have to apologise for depressing vs happy! NEVERRRR!!!)

Thank you so freaking much for this fill. I will never be over these crazy kids and their stupid faces and I always prompt them hoping for the best!

IF ONLY, IF ONLY THEY COULD GO BACK!

In his dreams, he uses the wisdom that 10 years has given him to be less callous, less cruel. He holds her hand, and doesn't let his anger get the best of him. Doesn't let pride hide his love, his desire. He takes her in his arms and tells her all the things he should have told from the beginning. OH, MY BABIES. This is so freaking perfect.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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lving_darkness January 3 2015, 06:00:32 UTC
OH STOP!! YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH!

Honestly, it was happenstance that I came on to LJ today (thanks 4 day weekends) and I saw one of your infamous comment fic a thons and thought I'd browse, and then THE GUILT because I have written a total of one fic in 2014.

I'm so glad you enjoyed though! It was a lot to get back into my Aleeeeex headspace, so I'm glad it came across well, because he is my bb forever and ever.

And finally, HIIIIIIII!!!!!

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catteo January 3 2015, 13:39:26 UTC
Well this is brutal!

And amazing.

I love it so much, the idea that even after all this time he still has his regrets about how he was with Izzie. That he dreams about all the might-have-beens.

GLORIOUS.

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