Asia Plum
This new Placebo song rocks like a bad mother f*cker. Its 5:30 in the morning...I need to get up in roughly three hours...blahh. God. I had this horrible dream where I was at the high school to pick up Kuang, but I couldn't find her, so I ended up walking around with this weird amalgemation of Mullevey, Baum and Hawk (dreams can do that) and I expressed to him how I felt so lonely after highschool (Which I didn't know...) is that my subconscious trying to tell me something? Oh, and then I found Kuang in the junior parking lot and we were attacked by a bunch of kids with a bulldozer throwing clay pots.
I woke up feeling awful, then, for the very first time in my life, I tried really really hard to remember my life. I'm not just talking about the interesting stuff, like when jerry got his head stuck in the toilet, (never happened) I mean...I was trying to remember an average day in my life in grade school. Where nothing out of the ordinary happened. I just went to school. I tried to remember how I got off the bus, how I stared out the window...or how I sat at the desks. Then I started to remember my early highschool days, when I was going out with Rose...I remembered how we were so good. The worst thing we ever did was hold hands in the dark of her father's car as he drove me home every sunday after we had dinner at her house. I thought it was the hottest thing when we were alone in her garage and she sat on my lap. For two years, all we ever did was make out. I was such a pure child...I didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't even curse until I was a junior. I used to think a band concert was the ultimate rush.
And all of these little rememberances lead up to a climatic nauseating dose of self-hatred. I was such a weak little prick. I cant believe what a little baby I was. I can't believe how much I hate that stupid, disgusting little kid in me. That four-eyed cowardly scared little shit. I want to strangle my old self to death. I wasted so much time being honest, I wasn't even human. I want to tell my old self to stop wasting his time and start living for god fucking sake, because one day he'll be 22 and miserable he didn't get caught having sex with a girl he loved or smoke one too many packs of cigarettes or something because THAT'S LIFE.
Stupid asshole.
I woke up feeling awful, then, for the very first time in my life, I tried really really hard to remember my life. I'm not just talking about the interesting stuff, like when jerry got his head stuck in the toilet, (never happened) I mean...I was trying to remember an average day in my life in grade school. Where nothing out of the ordinary happened. I just went to school. I tried to remember how I got off the bus, how I stared out the window...or how I sat at the desks. Then I started to remember my early highschool days, when I was going out with Rose...I remembered how we were so good. The worst thing we ever did was hold hands in the dark of her father's car as he drove me home every sunday after we had dinner at her house. I thought it was the hottest thing when we were alone in her garage and she sat on my lap. For two years, all we ever did was make out. I was such a pure child...I didn't smoke, didn't do drugs, didn't even curse until I was a junior. I used to think a band concert was the ultimate rush.
And all of these little rememberances lead up to a climatic nauseating dose of self-hatred. I was such a weak little prick. I cant believe what a little baby I was. I can't believe how much I hate that stupid, disgusting little kid in me. That four-eyed cowardly scared little shit. I want to strangle my old self to death. I wasted so much time being honest, I wasn't even human. I want to tell my old self to stop wasting his time and start living for god fucking sake, because one day he'll be 22 and miserable he didn't get caught having sex with a girl he loved or smoke one too many packs of cigarettes or something because THAT'S LIFE.
Stupid asshole.