And summer begins
When I left school I had two emotions. One was the happy emotion because I was finally done with classes and I did not have to think about them ever again. My other emotion was extreme sadness. I had just spent a year of my life away from home, meeting new friends and creating a new life and I had to give it up and go home. I was not looking forward to going home because I knew that I was going to be going home to a life of working all the time and never seeing my friends or Ryan. It was hard for me to give up all of my friends to come home without Ryan being here to greet me when I came home. The first couple of weeks I felt really lonely. I missed all of my friends and Ryan wasn't here. I work for my dad for 40 hours a week and I can't take it. I am so sick of seeing him all the time and feeling like I am being watched. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to pieces, but I think it is too much. I just wish that he wasn't my boss. Many of nights I come home from work and eat my dinner and end up falling asleep. I think it is due to working way too much and the fact that I feel that you can only spend so much time with certain people. I think I can finally admit that i may have been a little depressed. Yes, I was getting over being sick, but I needed to see my rock. This is really hard for me to admit, but I really think that Ryan helps me so much in my life. Anything that I do he is there for me and cheering me on. He doesn't judge me for things that I do, unlike some other people. When I am sad, he will always have gthat perfect comment to change my whole entire mood. It doesn't have to solve my problem or even make any sense, his whole plan is to just get me to smile. Last night he came home from the farm and when he got into his house he called me that very moment. He came to my house with a big smile on my face just to give me a huge hug and kiss. It's the little things that he does that makes him so special. Yes, he completly sucks on time, but at least he shows up. I always get angry that he is not punctual, because everyone knows I am, but he has never once stood me up for a date. A perfect example was today. He grove a half an hour to come take me out to lunch on my lunch hour from work. He didn't have to do that, but he wanted to because he cares about me. Some people would never even do that because they would complain that it is too much of a hassle or that they would have better things to do. In this past day, I have learned so much about my relationship with Ryan. I have realized that sometimes people, myself included, take things for granted. There is no room in life for taking things for granted. Tonight I have enjoyed watching one of my favorite people get an award for her excellence. She is such a brave woman and I am so lucky to be a part of her life. Even though she is like a mother to me, I still consider her one of my friends. I feel so close to Ryan's family is such a small time. This evening I have really learned that. Especailly with his sisters. I had a little conversation tonight with one of Ryan's sisters about Ryan and I and it made me feel so good about our relationship. Ryan was suppose to go to his Marine weekend but then he made this big deal that he didn't want to go. Finally he decided that he needed to go. Desiree and I were talking about that and she told me this. The only reason that he was thinking of not going was because he wanted to spend time with me. I told her this was crazy because I would see him tomorrow and that it was only a day he would be gone. Then she said this, 'I think it is because he really loves you.' I think my heart melted when she said that to me. I know that I love him and that he loves me, but it is so much different when someone else can see it, espeically someone in his family. It tells me that him and I really do have a strong relationship. I love him more than anything and I am so lucky to have him. My life has changed so much because of him and I am so thankful. He is an amazing man and I would do anything for him. I hope that at one point in everyone's life they are able to feel something just like I have. I promise you that when you have something like this, everything around you means nothing. All that matters is that person. My advise for all of you out there, when you love someone, love them with your whole heart it is the greatest feeling in the world. I love Ryan more than anything. You are truly my sunshine. I love the fam, Lynsey, Des and mothership. Life would not be complete without them either.