Horrible couple of weeks
I have been not feeling really well lately and I guess everything is just catching up to me. Today was really a hard day for me. I went to decorate for formal then dropped the girls off at the house afterwards. I felt so sad that I wasn't going to formal. I know that it was my choice whether or not to go, but I just wish that I could have or even had the motivation to go. When I was at the Mariott today decorating, I could imagine how beautiful everything was going to be later and how much fun everyone was going to have. There was a patio that they could go out on and it just seemed so romantic. I would have loved it if Ryan could have come. The only thing that made me sad when I went there to ddecorate, I knew that I could have never taken anyone but him. I wouldn't have wanted to dance with anyone else or walked outside and enjoyed the scenery with anyone else. It sucks because he couldn't come to it this time. I hope that soon it will change. I just care about that boy so much. I think so much more than he knows sometimes. He is the world to me. So many times I can just call him and the way that he talks to me just makes me in such a better mood. It is really hard to explain, but Ryan and I have such a wonderful relationship. I love that boy so much.
I alpologize for letting anyone down tonight for not going to formal. I really wish that I would have gone, but sometimes there are just things that you can't do without the person you love.