(no subject)
i had a good evening with cat last night, we watched "before sunrise" and had a good walk n' talk after. graduation is sort of bittersweet and anticlimatic...don't get me wrong, it's great to be graduating, and it's been fun...but i can't help but ask "where do i go from here?"...concretely it's worked out, i'm working this summer and going to school in the fall...more emotionally lost though. but that's not a bad thing...it could be but, i'm giving myself the space to be lost...i don't really know who or if i have friends anymore, and i know that's a terrible thing to say but those people who i do really enjoy hanging out with are so far away and that's too bad. kennebunk, you've always been great for me, but there's been a distance lately that i can't seem to reel in right now. but i said before, being lost can be the most goddamn beautiful feeling ever...it's being lost in a sea of possibilities and potential...opening myself maybe to a new lens of perspective that i hadn't experienced before...i'm rambling. i want to do something good in this world. i know that for sure. i want to give all of the love that i have that as far as i can tell won't stop...i need to give give give give give. and hope that wearing my heart on my sleeve can do good...that's one of the things that i know how to do. if i hadn't told you all already, i love you all and know that your existence means more to me than you could ever imagine