From Bad to Worse
It Doesn't Matter
by Alison Krauss
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years
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I never understood the purpose of songfics before, but now I kinda get it.
So, since my last update Aummumma (grand mother in Malay -one of the few words I know) has had another stroke. Instead of the uncertain promise of a trip to Malaysia in the near future, my parents have now booked a flight for tomorrow at 10pm. Zandra and myself will not be going as mum and dad don't want us to miss Uni (or at least that is what they say).
To begin with it wasn't very real. I have never been very close to my grandmother because of geographical and language barriers - and also recently I have found from my mother's perspective that she wasn't a very nice person- but she is the only grandparent I have left. It really hit me when I spoke with my mother and she said 'I will either leave there feeling better because I have seen her, or worse, or I will have attended a funeral'. It is kinda scary. I have never had anyone I was remotely close to die before. I know it sounds selfish, but I am just scared that the last barrier between old age and my parents is breaking away. It is like before I could say that there was an older generation so they couldn't die, now that is going.
It is going to be strange attending classes when I know my mother could be spending her last few days with her own mother. I wish I could be there. I haven't seen her in about 6 years, I'd like to have a clear memory of her.
by Alison Krauss
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away
It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years
---------------------------------------
I never understood the purpose of songfics before, but now I kinda get it.
So, since my last update Aummumma (grand mother in Malay -one of the few words I know) has had another stroke. Instead of the uncertain promise of a trip to Malaysia in the near future, my parents have now booked a flight for tomorrow at 10pm. Zandra and myself will not be going as mum and dad don't want us to miss Uni (or at least that is what they say).
To begin with it wasn't very real. I have never been very close to my grandmother because of geographical and language barriers - and also recently I have found from my mother's perspective that she wasn't a very nice person- but she is the only grandparent I have left. It really hit me when I spoke with my mother and she said 'I will either leave there feeling better because I have seen her, or worse, or I will have attended a funeral'. It is kinda scary. I have never had anyone I was remotely close to die before. I know it sounds selfish, but I am just scared that the last barrier between old age and my parents is breaking away. It is like before I could say that there was an older generation so they couldn't die, now that is going.
It is going to be strange attending classes when I know my mother could be spending her last few days with her own mother. I wish I could be there. I haven't seen her in about 6 years, I'd like to have a clear memory of her.