Exhale
Wow,
I haven't updated in ages!
Haloween has come and gone and to be honest it all feels like a bit of a let down. I'm getting stressed with my housemates. I don't think it's anything they have really done, it's just that the little things are really getting to me. Stupid things put me in a funk. Like Sarah saying 'Oh my god! I'm dressed like a lesbian!' because she was dressed as an 80's punk for Kreepy's birthday. Honestly! Who says that. I also notice things like the fact that they are so god damned normal. I think all of them except for Kreepy were in the popular crowd growing up and it really shows sometimes in their attitudes. I was dirty dancing with one of our friend's 18 year old sister and when she went away to get a drink Ru came up to me and said 'thank god that's stopped, we were worried about you for a second'. Jesus, I feel like I can't be myself up here. I really need to get some more friends like me so I can get away from time to time.
The other night I got a little depressed and decided to tell Ru for a change as opposed to just bottling it up. After that WW3 broke out. That'll teach me to open up to them. Mike got stressed at Ru for going off alone with me (I think she is insecure about other people's friendships being stronger than their friendships with her) and ended up screaming at her at 3 in the morning whilst we were locked out of our house. When we finally got in- Ru crawled in through the bathroom window- Mike then proceeded to have a full blown panic attack where she couldn't breathe. We ended up having to call her boyfriend in from Dundee which is half an hours drive away. I just sat in my room and cried cause I realised that I'd never be able to talk to any of them (apart from maybe Kreepy) without starting WW4. I don't know what I'm gonna do when Kreepy leaves at the end of this year. She's the only one that keeps me sane.
Exhale.
On the up side, I'm coming home on friday till tuesday for reading week and it's Fi's 21st party which should be really good. I don't want to plant too many hopes on it though as otherwise I'll see it as some kind of life line and if I don't have an amazing time it will seem like a let down. But I am looking forward to being at home for a while.
xx Zara
I haven't updated in ages!
Haloween has come and gone and to be honest it all feels like a bit of a let down. I'm getting stressed with my housemates. I don't think it's anything they have really done, it's just that the little things are really getting to me. Stupid things put me in a funk. Like Sarah saying 'Oh my god! I'm dressed like a lesbian!' because she was dressed as an 80's punk for Kreepy's birthday. Honestly! Who says that. I also notice things like the fact that they are so god damned normal. I think all of them except for Kreepy were in the popular crowd growing up and it really shows sometimes in their attitudes. I was dirty dancing with one of our friend's 18 year old sister and when she went away to get a drink Ru came up to me and said 'thank god that's stopped, we were worried about you for a second'. Jesus, I feel like I can't be myself up here. I really need to get some more friends like me so I can get away from time to time.
The other night I got a little depressed and decided to tell Ru for a change as opposed to just bottling it up. After that WW3 broke out. That'll teach me to open up to them. Mike got stressed at Ru for going off alone with me (I think she is insecure about other people's friendships being stronger than their friendships with her) and ended up screaming at her at 3 in the morning whilst we were locked out of our house. When we finally got in- Ru crawled in through the bathroom window- Mike then proceeded to have a full blown panic attack where she couldn't breathe. We ended up having to call her boyfriend in from Dundee which is half an hours drive away. I just sat in my room and cried cause I realised that I'd never be able to talk to any of them (apart from maybe Kreepy) without starting WW4. I don't know what I'm gonna do when Kreepy leaves at the end of this year. She's the only one that keeps me sane.
Exhale.
On the up side, I'm coming home on friday till tuesday for reading week and it's Fi's 21st party which should be really good. I don't want to plant too many hopes on it though as otherwise I'll see it as some kind of life line and if I don't have an amazing time it will seem like a let down. But I am looking forward to being at home for a while.
xx Zara