Things, stuff, and ideas
First off, props to Nate and Amber for throwing a fun little Mexican Fiesta. It was a good time with some damn good food. Who doesn’t love a taco? Seriously, you find me a person who doesn’t like a taco and I will challenge them to a duel. Maybe even one that is to the death.
Jason and Amy visited tonight. I am going to be honest and just say it. I miss having Jason around. It has been a lot more boring around here without him. Now, I don’t miss him just because it is boring, but for other real good reasons as well. Basically the number one person I could talk to about any crazy topic you could come up with is now in Milwaukee, so we have to try to communicate via AIM every day. That is all fine and dandy, but there is a point where AIM just doesn’t do it anymore. I miss those lazy afternoons where Jay and I would just sit down and watch whatever crap was on-demand or VH1. Also with Jason gone there is even one less person who has the same sense of humor. There aren’t many left here in Whitewater that get the jokes anymore. Sure, we were usually inappropriate, but it would still be nice to share the twisted humor and inside jokes with someone who is within a stone’s throw away. Meh, it will be fine come May.
Speaking of May, if you hadn’t heard yet, that is when I am moving to Milwaukee to live with Jason and Amy. If there has ever been a residence of pure rock stars before this will surely top it. I told Amy I would write about how amazing she is, so I will try to fit everything great about her in one blog, but I am not sure I have all night to be typing. First of all, if you noticed that I use the word amazing a lot lately that is because of Amy. That is a horrible bad habit that I believe she passed on to both Jason and I. I am not complaining here, just showing you just how close Amy and I have become. Actually in the past year and a half I have been fortunate to become close friends with Ms. Amy. Basically she has become one of my best and most trusted friends… possibly ever. When you need a dose of reality and honesty, Amy is the one you go to. She is a good listener too and I feel like I probably could go to her about anything. Now here is a news bulletin for all you men out there. Amy is single and if Jason and I approve of you, we may arrange for a meeting with her. She’s a catch, people. And she isn’t dirty or psycho. That is hard to find these days. Oh, another wonderful thing about Amy is that she is really thoughtful and buys me things. I know that sounds superficial, but they are things that only someone who has taken the time to know me would get. Examples are the Weird Wisconsin Book, my pirate Potato Head, and a Big Sexy Kevin Nash coffee mug. Try to tell me that you wouldn’t want this girl as one of your good friends. Amy is a rock star, folks. I don’t know what I would do without her.
I just noticed something today. It seems like there has been a real trend of people making sexually explicit things out of snow. Now, one would think it is funny, but lately it seems like it has gotten old. Well at least the snow penis’s got old. It has been done before, people! That is probably the old age talking, but just a thought. I wish people could be more creative with their snow creation. It would be rather impressive if someone could concoct a gigantic snow vagina. Now that would impress me. Even more impressive would be if someone could create a snow sculpture featuring a donkey punch. Extreme detail is a must. The only other snow creation that would impress me is a set replica of Legends of the Hidden Temple.
Speaking of Legends of the Hidden Temple, I have a few observations about that blast from the past. I hypothesize that they must have selected the most intellectually degenerate kids they could find. Sure they were efficient at answers the questions to get past the second round, but when it came to the Temple run they all seemed like they were a bunch of dumbfounded hyena’s copulating on a zebra corpse. Sure they were having fun, but they were ultimately accomplishing nothing. They only are given three minutes or so to get through that thing and they dilly dally through it like they are strolling on the beach at sunset with their preschool crush. Haul ass, people! It is not too difficult to hustle a bit. Furthermore I think they all weren’t listening very well because then they wouldn’t be pulling their thumb out of their asses and licking shit when it came to crunch time. I love when the little ingrates try to break the vases with their fists. Yeah, that is smart. One of those little bastards was bound to get hurt someday. It would have been a huge improvement if those kids would have watched the mistakes their partner made before them. They will still try a locked door even though their partner couldn’t get through it. The worst room was the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. There is even a facebook group that promotes disdain for contestants who just couldn’t “get it”. It was a simple task and the pieces were self explanatory. The squared end was the base, the part with the arms was the middle, and the head with the long stick was the top. Well, it wasn’t that simple for our brave contestants. They made the Shrine of the Silver Monkey seem like a fucking Rubik’s cube. It obviously isn’t and hell to be honest it is more like a glorified version of that baby toy where you had to fit the shapes through the holes. Okay, well maybe it isn’t much like that, but I hope you get my point. If you get a chance to watch the show on Nick Games and Sports, I highly suggest it.
Holy shit is it getting late. Time flies when you are writing about some good stuff. I want to write more, but my mind just went almost as blank as Paris Hilton’s. Now that is real fucking blank people. If they want to study what the universe was like before anything existed, they should take a tour inside that bitch’s head. Who the hell gets garbage thrown at them and thinks that means people are admiring her? Oh yeah, Paris, that’s who. On second thought, I still had thoughts, so comparing my mind to Paris’s was not realistic and should be stricken from the records. Oops, I got a little side tracked. Catch you all on the flip side.