(no subject)
I feel like a lot has changed since my last post, or maybe just my position towards things that remain the same. It's definitely good to have a job and money, although I have a fear that I might spend a lot of it on video games, and I'm still learning the job. Learning new things is a big part of my life right now, even outside of school. I'm changing so fast that sometimes I'm not sure whether to embrace it or fear it, because I can't tell who I'm becoming. Things were easier as a child, when I grew without noticing, but now I can feel myself changing, and I'm not sure where I'm headed just yet.
I feel as if relaxation is so far away from me, like there's too much to do before I can truly rest. I beat myself up alot over learning things that take a long time to learn. I'm eager to have new experiences and build confidence in my abilities, and that can't happen if I'm too relaxed to care. Of course, sometimes I wish I could just drop my life and go canoeing up north for a week or two, although that would also be a learning experience. I don't think I'll ever be able to stay happy if I'm not constantly learning a new skill.
In the end, the greatest end is happyness, and I can't say that I'm not happy. Just kinda tired. Definitely ready to be away from this busy household and back into res!
I feel as if relaxation is so far away from me, like there's too much to do before I can truly rest. I beat myself up alot over learning things that take a long time to learn. I'm eager to have new experiences and build confidence in my abilities, and that can't happen if I'm too relaxed to care. Of course, sometimes I wish I could just drop my life and go canoeing up north for a week or two, although that would also be a learning experience. I don't think I'll ever be able to stay happy if I'm not constantly learning a new skill.
In the end, the greatest end is happyness, and I can't say that I'm not happy. Just kinda tired. Definitely ready to be away from this busy household and back into res!