7 years ago....
I lost my best friend. Yesterday I was called upon by several friends in need so was not fully with his presence. I had planned on spending some meditative time with his memory, his spirit, maybe try to contact his essence as I have other years.. but I was mostly numb... Until this morning. I woke up with a bad headache and the feelings came over me in oceanic waves and tears flowed & flowed.. I miss him. I miss him still, more with each year it seems.
I talked with both of the kids yesterday both feeling sad and very aware it was the day 7 years ago that they lost their dad. I cried for them losing the one man in the world who adored them completely. They've been floundering in some ways ever since. And growing into their adulthood without him has been a hardship in some ways which I know well since I grew up without my mother after I was 20. In some ways there are blessings that they may be able to see later. I did tho' it was hard to get there to see it for a long time.
Jesse was a beautiful person who genuinely loved people and they loved him. He cared about them and did what he could to serve others always. He was a wonderful father whose children adored him. He was smart, funny, creative, generous, entertaining, gifted in so many ways, intensely passionate, a shaman in his own right and someone I learned so much from and with whom I grew up and into the important role of parenthood. I am blessed to have had him as a partner for the 15 years we shared... I thank him for his beauty, life and love!
I talked with both of the kids yesterday both feeling sad and very aware it was the day 7 years ago that they lost their dad. I cried for them losing the one man in the world who adored them completely. They've been floundering in some ways ever since. And growing into their adulthood without him has been a hardship in some ways which I know well since I grew up without my mother after I was 20. In some ways there are blessings that they may be able to see later. I did tho' it was hard to get there to see it for a long time.
Jesse was a beautiful person who genuinely loved people and they loved him. He cared about them and did what he could to serve others always. He was a wonderful father whose children adored him. He was smart, funny, creative, generous, entertaining, gifted in so many ways, intensely passionate, a shaman in his own right and someone I learned so much from and with whom I grew up and into the important role of parenthood. I am blessed to have had him as a partner for the 15 years we shared... I thank him for his beauty, life and love!