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Back to this little space of mine. It's been too long since I've blogged. I am so busy now, even though the semester is over.
So, I'm finally done with my freshman year. :)
Time is passing way to quickly for me. I'm still an 18 years old girl at heart. My results in university so far have been pretty dismal, although lots of effort have been put in. However, it always appears to me that I had more motivation and more disciplined in college. One day, I thought about it for a long time and I realised I knew the reason why. I was ultra hardworking in college because I wanted to leave my options open, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. Secondly, was because I wanted to be a good example for Andy (who seems extremely slack to me), because I was so afraid that he has to go overseas cause his results will be so bad. Haha, I'm not even kidding! He had 19/100 for H2 Mathematics Prelims and somehow he manages to clinch an A in the end, which I laregely attribute it to me patiently teaching him Maths. These two reasons are probably the reason why I led such a disciplined life in college, not sleeping for more than 5 hours a day, despite CCA and all.
However, all these are past glories. I know the need to look towards the future and not back towards the past. It's so easy to get lost in happy memories, but it isn't what I should be doing. No matter what my results tomorrow, I will always continue to work hard and live my life for God.
Speaking about my spiritual life, I changed church to cornerstone recently and I admit it is really a good decision. I learn so much more as compared to HMC. I guess I lost things too, but I'm always ready to embrace whatever new things that will come my way. I want to be a woman after God's heart, I want to make him glad. I want to live for his glory.
It's ironic how after so long, I actually have nothing to say. I used to love blogging, talking about my life. I guess I grew out of that phase. I'm so much more mature now. I worry about my parents getting old, I want to give them a good life and so many troubles that only adults worry about. Things such a bills to pay, job opportunities. I'm still learning how to trust my Heavenly Father and submit to him completely. I do it once in awhile, but it doesn't last for long.
I'm actually afraid of growing up, of one day losing my parents. It's really scary. I love them so much, my entire family. I can understand how Katniss in The Hunger Games feel when she volunteered for her sister to take part in The Games. Speaking about that series. It's actually a really good series. It is so touching. When I was reading the 3 books, it felt like I was living in Panem. I like losing myself in books or shows, I can't decide if it's healthy or not because I always feel so so empty and sad when a good series ends or a good drama ends. It's a funny feeling, it was as if my life revolved around it.
Lastly, I just want to thank God for taking care of me, looking after the people I love all these while. I can't be who I am today without them. My wonderful family, my awesome friends and my amazing boyfriend. Words can never describe how happy/glad/thankful that Andy is my boyfriend. They just can't. Although nowadays we use to argue or quarrel, unlike the past, but I'm so happy that we always find our way back to each other. Sometimes, I think he knows me better than myself. I never ever understand myself, I'm confusing, I'm inconsistent. Yes, inconsistent is the word, I can be so unpredictable.
I just want to thank God for everything and everyone in my life. I may not be in the best financial situation or have the results to be proud of, but I'm so so so happy to be me. It's crazy! Haha, although sometimes I feel sad or angry, when I think about my life, I can only say Thank You God. And I watched a really touching movie today. If one day, anyone of the people who mean so much to me are gone, I will try my best to thank God for the time I had with them, instead of being angry with the time I did not have and could have with them.
I'm feeling so sleepy now, I think it's time to sleep. Was chatting with my mum for hours, almost 4 hours! Will have to update Andy and Dianne about stuffs, hehe! In the meantime, I NEED TO BE EMPLOYED :)
PS. I really enjoyed planning Engin camp although I never thought I would have enjoyed it so much. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would bond with the people outside my OG. However, I did bond with them. It was amazing. :)