geeeehhhhrrrrllll
if i'm going to continue writing here, its going to be more like a diary damnit. i wish i could have a real diary, by hand, but it hurts too much and its too slow for me.
____________________________
its an odd hour for me to be awake, 4:10am. i havent seen you in a while. missed you.
i'm in that weird speedy area of my focus medicine ride where i feel like my chair is moving me forwards and backwards through invisible space. my back feels like its moving forward, my brain feels like its moving forward. but op, there go my legs and skull backwards again. oh, you guys.
i talked to jacob about his stay in israel so far. he loves it, and is saying he'll extend his stay just so he'll be there for when i want to go (september). he's living on a kibbutz and learning hebrew in those ulpan classes for 5 hours a day. not only is he in a foreign country, but the other kids staying at the kibbutz are from all over the world.
i rethought my plans for going to israel for the first time today. i went to the CCJS career fair to steal some free pens and frisbees, but then came across the employer that a friend of mine works for.
this kid said he was applying for a job as a pre-trial services officer, and he would meet offenders and inmates and talk with them and then recommend sentences etc for them.
when i went to this employer's table though, i realized that there is so much more to the job than that. theres the pre-trial services, but there is also a court service (assess flight risks), a supervision service (watch them in the community), a treatment service (which includes MENTAL HEALTH and DRUG TREATMENT), and community services (getting them integrated back into society).
they encourage employees to move throughout all the different systems, so you get to experience them all over a career. you're not stuck.
while this guy was talking to me, i realized that this is the first job i know of that a) i'm interested in , and b) actually combines BOTH of my majors that i've worked my ass off for.
also, this guy was genuinely excited about his job. he loves it. and they're not even hiring but this guy wanted me to hear how great the jobs are.
______
i want to believe that going to israel will be this magical, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will expose me to the "real world" and really get me on my feet as an adult. guh, it is it is, what am i talking about.
but what if i have better more sensible opportunities here?
______
regardless of my maybe trips around the world slash getting a real, grown-up job here, i'm slowly extracting most of the negatives from my life.
things are. complicated. confusing. difficult.
but so satisfying, and good in the long run.
the fucking long run.
____________________________
its an odd hour for me to be awake, 4:10am. i havent seen you in a while. missed you.
i'm in that weird speedy area of my focus medicine ride where i feel like my chair is moving me forwards and backwards through invisible space. my back feels like its moving forward, my brain feels like its moving forward. but op, there go my legs and skull backwards again. oh, you guys.
i talked to jacob about his stay in israel so far. he loves it, and is saying he'll extend his stay just so he'll be there for when i want to go (september). he's living on a kibbutz and learning hebrew in those ulpan classes for 5 hours a day. not only is he in a foreign country, but the other kids staying at the kibbutz are from all over the world.
i rethought my plans for going to israel for the first time today. i went to the CCJS career fair to steal some free pens and frisbees, but then came across the employer that a friend of mine works for.
this kid said he was applying for a job as a pre-trial services officer, and he would meet offenders and inmates and talk with them and then recommend sentences etc for them.
when i went to this employer's table though, i realized that there is so much more to the job than that. theres the pre-trial services, but there is also a court service (assess flight risks), a supervision service (watch them in the community), a treatment service (which includes MENTAL HEALTH and DRUG TREATMENT), and community services (getting them integrated back into society).
they encourage employees to move throughout all the different systems, so you get to experience them all over a career. you're not stuck.
while this guy was talking to me, i realized that this is the first job i know of that a) i'm interested in , and b) actually combines BOTH of my majors that i've worked my ass off for.
also, this guy was genuinely excited about his job. he loves it. and they're not even hiring but this guy wanted me to hear how great the jobs are.
______
i want to believe that going to israel will be this magical, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will expose me to the "real world" and really get me on my feet as an adult. guh, it is it is, what am i talking about.
but what if i have better more sensible opportunities here?
______
regardless of my maybe trips around the world slash getting a real, grown-up job here, i'm slowly extracting most of the negatives from my life.
things are. complicated. confusing. difficult.
but so satisfying, and good in the long run.
the fucking long run.