Jul 14, 2008 21:38
(Crossposted from my LJ, because I'm a dork and can do that. Now with 110% more italics!)
Donna eyes the blond Doctor from across the table, a predatory gleam in her eye. All right, so maybe he's gay (she knows he fancies men, at any rate), but maybe he's actually bisexual. And, well, she's been curious about Time Lord genitalia, and since none of the Doctors have been willing to tell her (apparently even Time Lords can be complete prudes), there's only one way to find out: first-hand knowledge. (Jack had told her he'd seen it before, but he had, as it had turned out, been lying. But he'd made it up to her, and that had been quite nice, so she was willing to forgive him for that.)
She sips her tea demurely, or as demurely as she's capable of while secretly concocting Evil Plans in her head, and decides to distract the Doctor with some idle chit-chat. "These are lovely biscuits," she says, trying to sound quite dissembling. His somewhat baffled look tells her that she's failing. Slipping one foot out of its shoe, she starts to run it up the Doctor's leg.
His eyes widen. "Er, Donna -"
She flashes him a charming smile, the kind that's meant to stop men in its tracks. Apparently, though, it doesn't work on Time Lords, because he pushes his chair back from the table and out of reach of her leg.
So she decides to go for broke and leans over, grabbing his lapels (making sure not to crush the celery) and kisses him soundly on the lips.
He squeaks - not pulling away, but not exactly responding, either. It reminds her of that time at Lady Eddison's, when she'd kissed her Doctor - and he's just as shocked now as he was then, too shocked to notice that her hands are deftly undoing those daft stripy trousers of his -
And now he's noticed, and he pulls back with alacrity, covering up his crotch with both hands. "Donna," he says quite firmly, his blue eyes still wide with surprise. "For the love of God, would you stop trying to do that?"