(no subject)
I'm pretty happy now. I'm not at the happiness level I want to be at, but I can't really complain. I'll admit, the happiest I have ever been in my life so far was Senior Year at Wharton. I loved running around being around the people who made me smile every single day I stepped foot in there. As cocky as it sounds, I loved feeling important, being loved by a lot of people and just being so comfortable in a surrounding and just knowing everyone. I was literally crazy and hyper all the time. I loved the feeling! It's a feeling I truly, truly miss. But I don't see it as totally gone. I just have to work a little more to bring it back and I know when it is back, it'll be better than before. And I feel one of the worse parts of life is meeting people down the road who you would really want to stay in contact with but end up only staying with the ones you are close too, which of course isnt bad. But I will miss everyone Ive met because its just so fucking cool meeting all kinds of people and I only wished we could have hung more.
A good friend of mine made me realize that all this shit that I surround myself with doesnt mean much. Its so materialistic. When I go to NY I want to start clean. I want to have my favorite clothes, the essentials (toothbrush,etc) and my guitar. If you hadnt heard all of my shit has been breaking. I have had three guitars fuck up, my video and digital camera, and my cell phone and mp3 player came close. Yes this really fucking sucks. I hate not having a camera at hand all the time but I can get over it. I want to feel free. I dont want my time to be taken up by all these things. Im not even bringing my computer to NY. I of course dont want to lose contact with everyone, I will have ways of staying in contact, but in some ways Im over the clutter of all this shit. Ive always wanted a simple life- just with the things I NEED.
But anyway, I have the overall picture of how I want my life. And I remember when things I have right now were just a dream and something Id always make believe I had. It makes me think "wow, maybe it is possible to live life exactly how I want it." I have two of the most important things in my life and I just hope they dont fall apart and that they only get stronger. And about being the happiest I can be, I know down the road Im going to hit a rocky point. And I just look back at little parts of my life and how I did hit shit but I eventually got at a safe haven which felt amazing! (I.E. High School. I hated it in 10th grade, wanted to leave so bad. And look at me now, I fucking miss it. It got really good.) It's going to happen. One way or the other, probably when and how I least expect it. But I think I'll be happy and I just want everyone I've met to be too!
That's that nuccas. 7 days and the Nomads are fucking back!!!!!WOOOO MUTHA FUCKAS!
oh yea, I have a new guitar...it's only the best thing ever. The guitar I've always wanted. Gibson Les Paul 56 Goldtop. It's that guitar I posted like a year ago saying I want it. And know I own it...crazy shit.
