uggh....what'd i do? :-\
I can't deal with this. I'm so sick of being depressed. It makes me crazy. I tear myself apart...emotionally, physically. ..
I can't concentrate on a God damn thing. I've been sitting in my room all day...I haven't eaten a single thing. I'm so fed up with being me that it kills me. What the hell am i afraid of? i'm starting to think that some people deserve more of an opportunity than they've been given. I have this deep part of myself that keeps saying it's not right...and then another part that keeps saying...maybe it is. I just don't know if it's worth hurting someone because of my insecurities or breaking their trust because of my stupid emotions. I really do enjoy her company. And I really do care about her alot. Is that enough. After a year should it be more? I've never really had a complaint...although a few times....i felt as if I were fishing for one. That in itself isn't fair. But maybe it's only me. Someone (and she knows who she is) once said to me...."why does it always happen to the people that care and love so much? they always turn out to be the victims."
yeah...they do...i've been there before. And now I have to experience it from the other side. well...greetings from the other side. the weather here is dark, rainy...and it's no fucking easier.
I can't concentrate on a God damn thing. I've been sitting in my room all day...I haven't eaten a single thing. I'm so fed up with being me that it kills me. What the hell am i afraid of? i'm starting to think that some people deserve more of an opportunity than they've been given. I have this deep part of myself that keeps saying it's not right...and then another part that keeps saying...maybe it is. I just don't know if it's worth hurting someone because of my insecurities or breaking their trust because of my stupid emotions. I really do enjoy her company. And I really do care about her alot. Is that enough. After a year should it be more? I've never really had a complaint...although a few times....i felt as if I were fishing for one. That in itself isn't fair. But maybe it's only me. Someone (and she knows who she is) once said to me...."why does it always happen to the people that care and love so much? they always turn out to be the victims."
yeah...they do...i've been there before. And now I have to experience it from the other side. well...greetings from the other side. the weather here is dark, rainy...and it's no fucking easier.