(no subject)
sometimes in times like these: reading entries adn past ones, watching new movies adn hearing new music- every new experience and taking it in- i'm confronted with the realization- or the pondering rather- do i have anything to offer?
sometimes i feel my role is to sit and observe and appreciate-
words do such a horrible job of explaining when there is too much to say and you can't get it out in a coherent fashion- not when speaking- not even when writing anymore- too much and yet not enough.
human contact- awareness of the senses in any moment: touch- sight- sound- smell- even taste- combine to nearly overwhelm me with stimulus every time i really pay attention. so many stones unturned- deep breath helps guide me through without losing appreciation of once dreaded emotion. breath in and out. step by step. day by day. moment by moment. still just an inconsistant aspiration which has the power to bring full bodied mixed emotional tears behind my eyes. but not yet shed. still stuck somehow from full expression.
more pondering to come when i should forget my mind and feel. such is how life's been.
sometimes i feel my role is to sit and observe and appreciate-
words do such a horrible job of explaining when there is too much to say and you can't get it out in a coherent fashion- not when speaking- not even when writing anymore- too much and yet not enough.
human contact- awareness of the senses in any moment: touch- sight- sound- smell- even taste- combine to nearly overwhelm me with stimulus every time i really pay attention. so many stones unturned- deep breath helps guide me through without losing appreciation of once dreaded emotion. breath in and out. step by step. day by day. moment by moment. still just an inconsistant aspiration which has the power to bring full bodied mixed emotional tears behind my eyes. but not yet shed. still stuck somehow from full expression.
more pondering to come when i should forget my mind and feel. such is how life's been.