all the lonely people
My life lately in a shell...
I moved out into my own appartment with Charles and Javier in January... It lasted until about three weeks ago and i am back at home. I have been searching non stop for a job. Not even a fast food joint will hire me. I dont really want to go to College yet. I dont so much know what my direction is right now. All that i know is that i want to work. I want to save money and move. Every day i long to move south. And i want to do it on my own. If i dont find a job i could stay with my aunt in the middle of nowhere Pixley California and work and save there. Then i could move more south to San Diego.
I really miss Nairas presense in my life as well. She is gone and since she left it seems things have only gotten worse. Not crushing worse. Things just arent so beautifully in place. I am realizing what are the friendships i want and the ones i really dont.
My mom has started dating and what not again. She has a life of her own now. So now i feel especially alone. I am finding less and less reasons to have my exhistance here.
Things arent all that bad. Im actually pretty happy. Im disconnected from my environment. I sleep an average of about 3-5 hours a night. I smoke too much and eat too little. Its sooo wierd cuz i do not feel depressed. I just really feel confined. Like Eleanor rigby, died in the church and was burried alone with her name.
Auburn is losing its charm.
It no longer holds my heart,
but instead confines my inhubitions.
I moved out into my own appartment with Charles and Javier in January... It lasted until about three weeks ago and i am back at home. I have been searching non stop for a job. Not even a fast food joint will hire me. I dont really want to go to College yet. I dont so much know what my direction is right now. All that i know is that i want to work. I want to save money and move. Every day i long to move south. And i want to do it on my own. If i dont find a job i could stay with my aunt in the middle of nowhere Pixley California and work and save there. Then i could move more south to San Diego.
I really miss Nairas presense in my life as well. She is gone and since she left it seems things have only gotten worse. Not crushing worse. Things just arent so beautifully in place. I am realizing what are the friendships i want and the ones i really dont.
My mom has started dating and what not again. She has a life of her own now. So now i feel especially alone. I am finding less and less reasons to have my exhistance here.
Things arent all that bad. Im actually pretty happy. Im disconnected from my environment. I sleep an average of about 3-5 hours a night. I smoke too much and eat too little. Its sooo wierd cuz i do not feel depressed. I just really feel confined. Like Eleanor rigby, died in the church and was burried alone with her name.
Auburn is losing its charm.
It no longer holds my heart,
but instead confines my inhubitions.