Let's see...
How many of y'all even bother to sniff around these parts anymore. I generally don't. It's not because I hate you or anything, I'm just lazy. That's right, I'm so lazy that I can't even summon the energy to dork around on the internet. DAMN THAT IS LAZY BEN.
I promised that I would post my primer on how to perform a wedding toast... But I'm at work, so I don't have it on me. (Note: I researched the word "primer" and it's definitely pronounced with a short "i" sound. So if you're Alan, I win.) But I did have thoughts that needed open airing in a public forum that only consists of people that I hang out with in private. Or somesuch.
Next time I officiate a wedding, I think I would like to do it in the style of southern tent revival. And I think it would be fun to do a group wedding. (Now accepting applications!)
"Brothahs and sistahs, we are heah TOday to perform the HOly rite of MATrimony. Could I get an AMEN?!"
"AMEN!"
"I said-a could-a I get-a AMEN!?"
-Raucous yelling from audience-
Holds up hand for silence
"Today we will wed Amber, Kelsey, Rachel to Chris; Scotts." (Editor's note: Whatever)
-etc...-
And at the end of ceremony there would be a hilarious mix up where I had secretly married the wrong girls to the incorrect Scotts. But only I (and I suppose God, if you're into that) would know. It would give me one more reason to smile when I see you.
Now for the experimental portion of the morning... let's see how long it takes for this to percolate into everyone's consciousness. Leave me a comment. Then next time we see each other we can talk about how I wrote something hilariously insulting about the others. Instant "in" joke.
I promised that I would post my primer on how to perform a wedding toast... But I'm at work, so I don't have it on me. (Note: I researched the word "primer" and it's definitely pronounced with a short "i" sound. So if you're Alan, I win.) But I did have thoughts that needed open airing in a public forum that only consists of people that I hang out with in private. Or somesuch.
Next time I officiate a wedding, I think I would like to do it in the style of southern tent revival. And I think it would be fun to do a group wedding. (Now accepting applications!)
"Brothahs and sistahs, we are heah TOday to perform the HOly rite of MATrimony. Could I get an AMEN?!"
"AMEN!"
"I said-a could-a I get-a AMEN!?"
-Raucous yelling from audience-
Holds up hand for silence
"Today we will wed Amber, Kelsey, Rachel to Chris; Scotts." (Editor's note: Whatever)
-etc...-
And at the end of ceremony there would be a hilarious mix up where I had secretly married the wrong girls to the incorrect Scotts. But only I (and I suppose God, if you're into that) would know. It would give me one more reason to smile when I see you.
Now for the experimental portion of the morning... let's see how long it takes for this to percolate into everyone's consciousness. Leave me a comment. Then next time we see each other we can talk about how I wrote something hilariously insulting about the others. Instant "in" joke.