(no subject)
so...me and dustin are not talking. i think he's gone now. i think he left us. i still call his voice mail. i talk to him....but he never talks back. i think i should stop. i thought we were over this. he said he wanted to marry me and be a family with me and the baby. but all the sudden...about 3 weeks ago...he changed his mind. and now...he is gone. the baby is due in two weeks. i havent talked to him since yesterday like at 12pm. he doesnt live with me anymore. but he didnt come and get his stuff yesterday. and now my dad is involved and there is nothing i can do about it now. my dad i guess locked up all of his stuff and he called the police and dustin cant set foot on our property or he will get arrested... i hate that it got this far. but for some reason i dont think he really cares. he seems to be fine i guess. and if he is fine then i have to be fine too. so....daxton wont see his daddy on the day he is born. and...the baby book i have...wont have his daddy in it either...
after all we've been through i thought he finally decided to be with me forever. and i was excited. i have taken back. i have helped him in any way i could. ive been there by his side. i hurt when he hurt. ...he never hurt when i hurt. i guess thats a sign right there. if he doesnt care that you are crying or balling your eyes out...then he really wont ever care. and actually almost everytime i have cried to him or because of him (and he knew) he would never EVER comfort me. like he didnt care. he just wanted me to shut up. and thats not the kind of guy any gal should be with.
i wish i could turn back time. but i guess that wouldnt matter cus he would leave us anyways. if he wanted to leave....then why did he stay? maybe he was scared that the baby was already coming. but when he saw how much it hurt me...he showed no emotion. and any natural human being would have at least showed some emotion. but he just left and went on like i was never there...
i dont want the baby like this. he doesnt diserve these actions from his father. would if dustin does these things to him? daxton will hurt so bad. and what do i tell him?? i hope dustin comes around.....some day. i love him. i always will. maybe in a different way someday. but i believe i am still numb from the situation. it doesnt feel real. i feel like dustin still loves me and i love him but he's just in a different state on vacation or something and he cant call me cus he has no service and i cant get through to him...but...i guess it hasnt really hit me yet that....he wont be coming back....
after all we've been through i thought he finally decided to be with me forever. and i was excited. i have taken back. i have helped him in any way i could. ive been there by his side. i hurt when he hurt. ...he never hurt when i hurt. i guess thats a sign right there. if he doesnt care that you are crying or balling your eyes out...then he really wont ever care. and actually almost everytime i have cried to him or because of him (and he knew) he would never EVER comfort me. like he didnt care. he just wanted me to shut up. and thats not the kind of guy any gal should be with.
i wish i could turn back time. but i guess that wouldnt matter cus he would leave us anyways. if he wanted to leave....then why did he stay? maybe he was scared that the baby was already coming. but when he saw how much it hurt me...he showed no emotion. and any natural human being would have at least showed some emotion. but he just left and went on like i was never there...
i dont want the baby like this. he doesnt diserve these actions from his father. would if dustin does these things to him? daxton will hurt so bad. and what do i tell him?? i hope dustin comes around.....some day. i love him. i always will. maybe in a different way someday. but i believe i am still numb from the situation. it doesnt feel real. i feel like dustin still loves me and i love him but he's just in a different state on vacation or something and he cant call me cus he has no service and i cant get through to him...but...i guess it hasnt really hit me yet that....he wont be coming back....