FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU
I hate your guts right now.
That line between Love and Hate is thinning by the moment.
Do I have a sign on my face that says FUCK ME OVER??
Why is it that the only people I give a fuck about, do this to me?
I sure pick winners dont I?
What happened to me as a kid that would make me want to pick girls that would constantly hurt me and then leave me for no good reason?
The only girls who Do want me, I'm either not interested in or the "situation" is so messed up there is no point trying.
I want my best friend to be here. The only person I've ever went through the same thing with at the same time. That bonded us closer than anyone I've been friends with before. He is one of three people I can trust with anything. Steven, why do you have to be geographically almost as far away from me as you can be and still be in the same country. and its your birthday and I know you are having fun. I'm glad for that at least. At least one of us is having fun. and at least I'm not dragging you down on your birthday. Haha just thinking of you makes me feel better though. and I already know what you would tell me. Dont be a pussy. and then when you realized that I really was upset, you'd want to kill her. And then give me a list of reasons why shes a dumb bitch and why I'm too good for her. I Love you for that.
so why do I still feel like I'm not good enough for her?
She uses me
She lies to me, even if she thinks I dont know
She does not appreciate me
Why cant I stop thinking about it?
Depression is when our eyes are on ourselves. and I'm not selfish. I want to think about other peoples problems. I want to think about bigger problems in life than my stupid bullshit. but she keeps creeping her way back in.
FUCK YOU
I dont even hate him anymore. Now I just hate that you keep stuff from me. Which makes me resent you.
In my head I say, Fuck her I'm done. But if you called me tomorrow and explained everything, I'd probably puss out and accept it and be your tag along again. I feel pathetic. And not for that. but for being willing to do whatever you want and not feeling pathetic about it. That is what I feel pathetic for.
so much to say so much to say..
Story of my life.
No one will know the inner workings of this mind. God himself probably wonders how or why he made me
That line between Love and Hate is thinning by the moment.
Do I have a sign on my face that says FUCK ME OVER??
Why is it that the only people I give a fuck about, do this to me?
I sure pick winners dont I?
What happened to me as a kid that would make me want to pick girls that would constantly hurt me and then leave me for no good reason?
The only girls who Do want me, I'm either not interested in or the "situation" is so messed up there is no point trying.
I want my best friend to be here. The only person I've ever went through the same thing with at the same time. That bonded us closer than anyone I've been friends with before. He is one of three people I can trust with anything. Steven, why do you have to be geographically almost as far away from me as you can be and still be in the same country. and its your birthday and I know you are having fun. I'm glad for that at least. At least one of us is having fun. and at least I'm not dragging you down on your birthday. Haha just thinking of you makes me feel better though. and I already know what you would tell me. Dont be a pussy. and then when you realized that I really was upset, you'd want to kill her. And then give me a list of reasons why shes a dumb bitch and why I'm too good for her. I Love you for that.
so why do I still feel like I'm not good enough for her?
She uses me
She lies to me, even if she thinks I dont know
She does not appreciate me
Why cant I stop thinking about it?
Depression is when our eyes are on ourselves. and I'm not selfish. I want to think about other peoples problems. I want to think about bigger problems in life than my stupid bullshit. but she keeps creeping her way back in.
FUCK YOU
I dont even hate him anymore. Now I just hate that you keep stuff from me. Which makes me resent you.
In my head I say, Fuck her I'm done. But if you called me tomorrow and explained everything, I'd probably puss out and accept it and be your tag along again. I feel pathetic. And not for that. but for being willing to do whatever you want and not feeling pathetic about it. That is what I feel pathetic for.
so much to say so much to say..
Story of my life.
No one will know the inner workings of this mind. God himself probably wonders how or why he made me