a story about friends, and then some....
I started watching friends on dvd when I had mono, back in February. I started with season one and am now currently on season 8, well I have the finale to watch and then season eight is officially over for me. But the show itself has become a huge part of who I am, or more, what I do during me free time. Most evenings I would rather forgo ANY plans I have or could have to just sit and watch friends. I dont think that is normal or healthy, but it is what i choose to do with what little free time I am now given. Friends will call me (real friends, not the show), I will be invited to go to parties, I will even be asked out on dates, but i find myself having a better time doing nothing, and almost always choose to do nothing rather than the "real plans". It isnt like I watch friends alone, I am not THAT pathetic, I usually watch it with paul, maybe that is half the appeal, or all of it. I just feel complete comfort when him and I are watching friends. Friends has also let me reflect a lot into my own life, and the real friends I have and what they mean to me. I have a friend that fits each one of the characters very well. Let me clarify some things.
Paul and I have been broken up since December 7, 2004. On July 6, 2001 I remember telling Mike that I regretted saying "yes" to paul because I didnt want to lose him as a friend if we were to break up. Well we have broken up, and as hard as it was for me, I dont think anyone knows what it really did to me, I am so glad to still have any aspect of paul in my life. We have been seeing each other a lot this summer. The feeling I get from him is so hard to explain, it is like its own "paul" feeling, just like happy, nervous, or mad, I can feel "paul". If I had to describe it, it would be completecomfortjoyhappinessacceptancelovewarmth. When I am having the worst day, I just want to be with him, to just get that feeling. When I am having a great day, I want to share it with him. I can be silly, angry, bitchy, or annoying, and he knows how to react to me being that way, and he accepts that I am that way. I never take naps, I cant fall asleep. It is only when him and I are watching tv together that i can fall asleep, and it happens EVERY TIME. regardless of if it is 11 at night or 2 in the afternoon. He soothes me, he comforts me, he completes me? Will I find this with another guy? Is what him and I had true love? Do i think that him and I fit together so well only because I really havent allowed myself to become that with someone new? Will I ever find that someone new? One of the episodes talked about true love. Phoebe thought that she had found monica's soul mate, but she was already married to chandler. Monica and chandler dont believe in soul mates. I beleive in a modified soul mate. If i reflect on my guy friends, I am certain that I could be married to many of them and it would work out just fine. But i still believe that there is that one person that it would just be magical with. maybe that is the 12 year old in me thinking. but if it is an immature and impractical way of thinking, i dont ever want to grow out of it! I want to believe that there is a guy out there for me that will just love every bit of me. I will love every bit of him. We will need nothing but each other to keep us happy. Paul's friends really like me, I never thought they did. I guess they tell him to bring me around more. Two even called me the "package". Paul explained it as being funny, smart, interesting, and attractive. It made me feel good. When him and I were dating, we never hung out with his friends, and they were MY friends too at the beginning. So who is paul? Paul is probably closest to chandler. He is the entertaining one. The one that everyone can get along with. He doenst take life too seriously, but knows how to do well at it. He doesnt want to date around and hook up with girls just for the experience or the hell of it. He wont jump into a commitment, but when he does, it is for good. He is an all around good guy.
I have a friend for each "friend", and a list of why they fit that friend for me, but that is for them to know!
Who am I? I would like to say rachel. what girl wouldnt, she is the desirable one! But I know that I am not. I may be like her in some ways: into clothes, naive, a hopeless romantic, but I am not her. I am monica: neurotic, neat-freak, perfectionist, naggy, nit-picky, never satisfied with myself, over achiever, loving, lonely at times. organized, goal oriented, hard working. I am probably not to the extreme of each trait as she is, but i see myself in her. I want to be more like pheobe; more carefree and young-spirited, more easy going.
so paul is chandler and i am monica..... hmmmm, i didnt do that on purpose
What a random and long post.... I think I will go watch some friends.
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
- maybe i didnt learn about friendship in school (although i think that school and home are the two places we DID learn how to be friends), maybe i still dont know how to be a friend, but anything I do know about friendship, i learned from a tv show ;-P
Paul and I have been broken up since December 7, 2004. On July 6, 2001 I remember telling Mike that I regretted saying "yes" to paul because I didnt want to lose him as a friend if we were to break up. Well we have broken up, and as hard as it was for me, I dont think anyone knows what it really did to me, I am so glad to still have any aspect of paul in my life. We have been seeing each other a lot this summer. The feeling I get from him is so hard to explain, it is like its own "paul" feeling, just like happy, nervous, or mad, I can feel "paul". If I had to describe it, it would be completecomfortjoyhappinessacceptancelovewarmth. When I am having the worst day, I just want to be with him, to just get that feeling. When I am having a great day, I want to share it with him. I can be silly, angry, bitchy, or annoying, and he knows how to react to me being that way, and he accepts that I am that way. I never take naps, I cant fall asleep. It is only when him and I are watching tv together that i can fall asleep, and it happens EVERY TIME. regardless of if it is 11 at night or 2 in the afternoon. He soothes me, he comforts me, he completes me? Will I find this with another guy? Is what him and I had true love? Do i think that him and I fit together so well only because I really havent allowed myself to become that with someone new? Will I ever find that someone new? One of the episodes talked about true love. Phoebe thought that she had found monica's soul mate, but she was already married to chandler. Monica and chandler dont believe in soul mates. I beleive in a modified soul mate. If i reflect on my guy friends, I am certain that I could be married to many of them and it would work out just fine. But i still believe that there is that one person that it would just be magical with. maybe that is the 12 year old in me thinking. but if it is an immature and impractical way of thinking, i dont ever want to grow out of it! I want to believe that there is a guy out there for me that will just love every bit of me. I will love every bit of him. We will need nothing but each other to keep us happy. Paul's friends really like me, I never thought they did. I guess they tell him to bring me around more. Two even called me the "package". Paul explained it as being funny, smart, interesting, and attractive. It made me feel good. When him and I were dating, we never hung out with his friends, and they were MY friends too at the beginning. So who is paul? Paul is probably closest to chandler. He is the entertaining one. The one that everyone can get along with. He doenst take life too seriously, but knows how to do well at it. He doesnt want to date around and hook up with girls just for the experience or the hell of it. He wont jump into a commitment, but when he does, it is for good. He is an all around good guy.
I have a friend for each "friend", and a list of why they fit that friend for me, but that is for them to know!
Who am I? I would like to say rachel. what girl wouldnt, she is the desirable one! But I know that I am not. I may be like her in some ways: into clothes, naive, a hopeless romantic, but I am not her. I am monica: neurotic, neat-freak, perfectionist, naggy, nit-picky, never satisfied with myself, over achiever, loving, lonely at times. organized, goal oriented, hard working. I am probably not to the extreme of each trait as she is, but i see myself in her. I want to be more like pheobe; more carefree and young-spirited, more easy going.
so paul is chandler and i am monica..... hmmmm, i didnt do that on purpose
What a random and long post.... I think I will go watch some friends.
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
- maybe i didnt learn about friendship in school (although i think that school and home are the two places we DID learn how to be friends), maybe i still dont know how to be a friend, but anything I do know about friendship, i learned from a tv show ;-P