Vid Commentary - When I'm Small (Merlin/Morgana)
Or, lots of thinky-thoughts about a video I've clearly thought too much about.
Warning: this is very, very image heavy. Well, more specifically, gif heavy.
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"She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love. I fear that your futures are now joined forever."
I suppose the first thing to talk about is where the idea from the video came from. May 2010 -- the last season of LOST was coming to a close; I'd go through some fanmixes and then I stumbled upon this stunning song by Phantogram, "When I'm Small." It was unlike any other song I'd ever heard and I was just dying to vid it. Once I actually started looking at the song, it became very obvious that these lyrics were perfect for Merlin and Morgana. However, I didn't have the inspiration to start this video until series three began. Between May and September, this video was just an idea. Series three then gave me the kickstart I needed to get this video going and now it's finally done. :')
WHEN I'M SMALL
What I wanted to capture at the start of the video was this sense of loneliness for both characters, with the two of them being magical but having to hide their true selves in Camelot. There are so many parallels between Merlin and Morgana, and I wanted that to be very clear throughout the video. Then the chilling vocals kick in and it's gorgeous and haunting and I really felt that there was a sense of foreboding to it all, especially with the key change half way through.
I also wanted to experiment a little in terms of visuals, which I did through the parallels as well as the use of textures (which I haven't really done much of) -- coupled with close-ups and the split-screen with Merlin and Morgana in greyscale. The split-screen was also done to reinforce that idea of the parallels between the two; the characters could almost mirror each other in some ways. This song definitely builds up, so it was also important for me to start off with some longer beats, and I thought the contrast between the slowmo shots and the beats of the song would help in terms of the structure of the video.
AM I UNDERGROUND OR AM I IN TOO DEEP?
For some reason the first verse is always one of the last things I ended up vidding. I was really struggling to come up with an interpretation, and this is not a very well-known song which has never really been vidded to before (actually I don't think it's been vidded to at all) -- and after vidding it, I completely understand why! ;) I loved the ambiguity of it, though. Like Merlin and Morgana's relationship, there's so much subtext, so many different interpretations and ideas you can take from the lyrics. This is probably why I felt like doing this commentary, actually. In the end I decided this first verse was really about the secrets between Merlin and Morgana -- not just in terms of their magic, but also the distrust that began to creep in towards the end of the second season ("Am I underground / or am I in too deep?").
YOU'VE GOT YOUR HAND ON THE BUTTON NOW
After the hard beats of the first verse, all of that falls away and we're left with a few subtle beats throughout the bridge. This I interpreted as basically being the "calm before the storm." It's a moment of connection for both these characters as they try to reach out to one another; but they don't ever truly unite.
"You've got your hand on the button now."
I thought this line perfectly symbolised all the chances Merlin had to help Morgana, for the two of them to perhaps take a different path than the one they're now on. What I always wonder about Merlin and Morgana is whether or not it was all really destiny, or if there was -- as Merlin says -- another way. Every choice they made escalated and led to Morgana's poisoning, and pushing that "button" was the event that would change their entire relationship.
The hard beats violently kick back into play, with the poisoning scene intercutting with more parallels between Merlin and Morgana -- contrasting what unites them against what has pulled them apart. The vocals were also perfect here because they almost sounded like Morgana's gasping as she was being poisoned with the breath slowly leaving her body. I was almost tempted to use some of those gasps in the video; but I tried it and it just... didn't work. ;P
"I thought -- she has magic, I thought... we were the same."
I'm so in love with that line. Again, it was perfect for my entire "parallels" concept that I had throughout this video, so I had to incorporate that somehow.
AM I STILL ALIVE OR HAS THE LIGHT GONE BLACK?
This time I interpreted "underground" more literally -- Morgana was, as far as Merlin was concerned, dead. She was never coming back; but she did. However, she's no longer the same person. ("Am I still alive / or has the light gone black?") I thought this definitely captured Morgana's descent into darkness -- and can I just say, THANK GOD FOR THE DELETED SCENES. While the first verse was focused more on the first two seasons, from this point onwards it's predominately based on the events of series three. And the lyrics for the second verse were ludicrously appropriate for what we got in series three, like Morgana literally throwing Merlin against the wall and into the flames. I MEAN. If this song wasn't perfect for them before this, then...
I really love all the "fire" shots, and I just thought it was an interesting way to sort of reference the fact that as people who use magic, both of these characters could end up being executed and burnt at the stake. So the little bit from 2:40 - 2:45 was my way of doing that and luckily it also turned out looking very... well, pretty. :D
I'D RATHER DIE THAN TO BE WITH YOU
This time, when we revisit the bridge, the beats still carry on -- and there's an extra synth in the background adding another layer to the song. And again, Merlin has a chance to perhaps change Morgana and fix their relationship; but of course as Morgana says, "there is no other way" this could've happened.
Then comes the line that absolutely sealed the deal for me with regards to this song being the official Merlin/Morgana song:
"I'd rather die / I'd rather die / than to be with you."
If that single line doesn't capture Merlin and Morgana's antagonistic relationship, then I don't know what does. The entire song builds up to this one moment, and then we reach the climax of the song, and the synth goes mental in the background -- the song spins out of control just as Merlin and Morgana have. But even then, even within the complete disarray of their relationship, there is still something that unites the two of them, so I closed the video with the final line from the dragon: "your futures are now joined forever." While there will always be forces that will pull them apart, there's no denying that both of their fates have been intertwined.
Now, I have to say, I was honestly expecting some sort of epic confrontation between the two in the last episode, so after the finale the ending of this video suddenly became extremely difficult purely because I thought I would have more footage to work with. In the end, I think it turned out okay -- Morgana's final line, "this has just begun", ended up fitting very well for this video, and I thought I'd throw in something that was a little more AU with Morgana watching Merlin place Excalibur in the stone (because I was seriously waiting for her to pop out behind a tree or something ;P) -- I'm really excited about what could happen with these two next series; Morgana's clearly going to hate Merlin even more than ever and I really cannot wait. ;) And of course, keeping with the "parallels" theme throughout this video, there was no way I wasn't going to throw that into the ending as well, so I thought it rounded off the video nicely.
Well, that's it really! If you managed to get through all of that, then thank you for reading! :D