To Be Noticed (1/1)

[wakingnitemarex]

Title: To Be Noticed
Author: wakingnitemarex / hatemetoday_xx
Rating/Warning: NC-17 and dub!con that is possibly closer to some form of sexual assault
Pairing: Cohnstro
Disclaimer: If this isn't fiction, I will cry.
Summary: Jason Castro is the insecure boy who just wants his roommates to like him. Michael and David are the roommates who are just sick enough to take advantage

Comments

[elenauial]

Hmmm. I'm really conflicted on this. I believe some parts of it and then some parts of it seem to stick out and not really make sense. I honestly could believe that Michael and David thought that they were doing it for Jason's own good, but I can't see them being apologetic about it then. I think you have to choose, are they sorry for doing it or are they convinced that it was the right thing for Jason and therefore unapologetic?

I agree with what Nikki said as well, Michael seems a little contradictory. I think it's odd how he's the rough one at first, and then he's gentle at the end. Maybe stick with a sort of David/Michael Good Cop/Bad Cop thing? Where Michael is harsh and unforgiving and David is the gentler apologizing one?

I can almost believe the ending though. I'm not sure how to share this anecdote without making it sound like ME!ME!ME! but I will promise I'm not looking for attention. It's relevant. Haha. ANYWAY, I was in a similar situation, being forced to participate in sexual acts I didn't want to, and though I cried after and everything, I still hung out with them the next day like nothing had happened. For me, I thought it was my fault and I didn't hold them responsible. Maybe for Jason, he really believes that it was for the better. We all have different ways of coping with these scenarios, but denial seems to be a prevalent one.

ANYWAY, I'm a big fan of your writing, but yeah, I felt there were some disconnects in this story.

[wakingnitemarex]

I guess that's maybe just my soft heart creeping in. I just have this theroy that if Jason Castro cries, everyone in the room would be crushed. He's too pretty to cry. ^^;
They're not sorry for doing it, just sorry to make him cry. They were probably hoping to by-step that phase.

Yeah, I think I did mess up a bit with making Michael turn like that..

I.. know more about that kind of situation than I like to admit.

Thanks, bb. Hopefully the next thing I write will be more like my good stuff. :]