Give me a reason to go on....
As of right now things aren't looking the greatest. I'm working, which is good, but I'm so exhausted that I don't really feel like doing anything else. I feel like most of the people I care about don't return the feelings anymore. I thought that this summer would be the chance I've always wanted with a certain someone, that maybe it was time and both of us would be ready, but I guess I was just stupid to think that. I have really bad timing. Things are just awkward and I don't really understand why. I guess it's just because I feel so vulnerable right now. I put myself out there once again and got the negative response in a sense. I feel like he thinks that things have changed between us and they haven't. I still treat him exactly the same as before and I expect the same from him, but it's like he doesn't know how to act anymore. So of course I'm on the defensive because I feel the disappointment and hurt coming. I always feel as though I need to prepare myself, because it always ends that way. I apologize for my horrible timing, I know it wasn't fair for me to just drop a bomb and think anything was going to happen. What I care about most is our friendship. Others that I've tried to reach out to don't respond at all. I'd rather be alone most of the time now. You would think that after being alone for so long that I would be used to it, but it never seems to get any easier. Oh well, welcome to my world.
To all of you Berea folks, I miss you terribly. It's only been a week and a half but it feels like forever.
To all of you Berea folks, I miss you terribly. It's only been a week and a half but it feels like forever.