Ira Glass is my ultimate man....well, maybe if he were a little more manly
This week's episode of This American Life was really good. I mean, they're always really good, but this one was very thought provoking. I'd encourage anyone who likes good intellectual radio to go download the podcast of it, either from the This American Life website or at iTunes.
The episode was about testosterone. Which, I know, sounds ridiculous and like some kind of man vs. woman stereotypical thing. But, Ira addresses that this was their concern from the beginning and exactly what they wanted to avoid. So, it ends up being a very thought provoking show with many different accounts of what testosterone means to different people.
What really got to me was the last segment. It's a piece by a mother who wants to ask her 15 year old son questions about what it's like to be a teenage guy. And, I guess what made it so strange for me was the questions she was asking. They were non-leading questions you could ask a girl because she would most likely flesh out the answers for you. But, knowing how teenage guys work, they were in no way questions I would ever ask one because I know I'd get a monosyllable in response. And, the woman was pretty cool, probably someone I'd like to get to know at a cocktail party. But she made it very clear that she'd never had guys around growing up and had always wanted a brother or a son in her family. And, of course, growing up with a brother who always had his friends around and wanting to be just like them and then having my own groups of guys I hung out with through the years, I don't understand just never having guys around. I don't understand how you don't know that a 15 year old boy doesn't want to sit down with his mother and have her record questions about whether or not he thinks about girls, unless you can turn it into a joke for him. It's just a part of who I am. For as girly as I am, for as much as I love romantic comedies and babies and hot pink high heels and dresses, I'm also a tomboy. Which makes me wonder how exactly people see me. I mean, most of my close friends and family get to see both sides of me. But sometimes I feel I'm louder and more aggressive when I'm just with guys than with girls (the exception being all through high school when we girls all just acted like a bunch of aggressive slobs anyway). I know I'm loud around girls as well, but I think I get louder and cockier around guys. Perhaps because I feel I need to prove myself to them, while I feel no need to prove myself to women (well, outside of my taste in clothes and hairstyles). That said, I get louder and more defiant around guys whether or not I'm wearing heels and a skirt. It's not about how I look, it's about how I can stand up to them and engage on their level.
I remember Cecily's telling me that I had somehow transformed from girly-Kaki into tomboy-Kaki when we were visiting Rob in Prague. And I remember being confused by that statement. I wasn't offended, just confused. Because most of my friends realize I am a huge tomboy and am willing to sit around and watch stereotypical guy-movies and drink beer and generally be rambunctious. The thing was, the time my friends and I spent in Paris didn't ever give me much of an opportunity to let my tomboy side show through. Always being dressed up and around girls, with no outlets for guy movies or guy time made me seem girlier to people than I'd ever meant to be. And I always connected with Cecily on a girl-level because there was no need to connect on a boy-level with her. Cott was able to see my tomboy side because we would have gigantic Indian and kebab feasts with beer and dirty jokes and such. But the other girls never really got to see that side of me since they never seemed to need me to connect on a guy-level with them.
Occasionally I feel like that here too. I'm always dressed up, always acting demurely and professionally. And, all I really want to do sometimes is just get in someone's face and be aggressive (or at least kick back and watch an action film with some beers). I have these two sides to my personality that may seem conflicting to the rest of the world, but to me they meld together just perfectly. I go a little crazy when I have to repress one of them.
And sometimes I feel that's why I search out girls who understand that side of me to be my friends (if I don't simply just search for guy friends). It's very hard for me to deny my tomboy side. I need to occasionally watch an action film or punch someone on the arm when they piss me off. I can't do that with most girls. But girls who also have tomboy tendencies get that. And most guys could care less that I'm wearing heels and a skirt if I'm giving as good as I'm taking and cuffing them upside the head when they say something stupid. And I really like being one of the guys. Just one of the guys who happens to wear hot pink heels and dates other guys.
The episode was about testosterone. Which, I know, sounds ridiculous and like some kind of man vs. woman stereotypical thing. But, Ira addresses that this was their concern from the beginning and exactly what they wanted to avoid. So, it ends up being a very thought provoking show with many different accounts of what testosterone means to different people.
What really got to me was the last segment. It's a piece by a mother who wants to ask her 15 year old son questions about what it's like to be a teenage guy. And, I guess what made it so strange for me was the questions she was asking. They were non-leading questions you could ask a girl because she would most likely flesh out the answers for you. But, knowing how teenage guys work, they were in no way questions I would ever ask one because I know I'd get a monosyllable in response. And, the woman was pretty cool, probably someone I'd like to get to know at a cocktail party. But she made it very clear that she'd never had guys around growing up and had always wanted a brother or a son in her family. And, of course, growing up with a brother who always had his friends around and wanting to be just like them and then having my own groups of guys I hung out with through the years, I don't understand just never having guys around. I don't understand how you don't know that a 15 year old boy doesn't want to sit down with his mother and have her record questions about whether or not he thinks about girls, unless you can turn it into a joke for him. It's just a part of who I am. For as girly as I am, for as much as I love romantic comedies and babies and hot pink high heels and dresses, I'm also a tomboy. Which makes me wonder how exactly people see me. I mean, most of my close friends and family get to see both sides of me. But sometimes I feel I'm louder and more aggressive when I'm just with guys than with girls (the exception being all through high school when we girls all just acted like a bunch of aggressive slobs anyway). I know I'm loud around girls as well, but I think I get louder and cockier around guys. Perhaps because I feel I need to prove myself to them, while I feel no need to prove myself to women (well, outside of my taste in clothes and hairstyles). That said, I get louder and more defiant around guys whether or not I'm wearing heels and a skirt. It's not about how I look, it's about how I can stand up to them and engage on their level.
I remember Cecily's telling me that I had somehow transformed from girly-Kaki into tomboy-Kaki when we were visiting Rob in Prague. And I remember being confused by that statement. I wasn't offended, just confused. Because most of my friends realize I am a huge tomboy and am willing to sit around and watch stereotypical guy-movies and drink beer and generally be rambunctious. The thing was, the time my friends and I spent in Paris didn't ever give me much of an opportunity to let my tomboy side show through. Always being dressed up and around girls, with no outlets for guy movies or guy time made me seem girlier to people than I'd ever meant to be. And I always connected with Cecily on a girl-level because there was no need to connect on a boy-level with her. Cott was able to see my tomboy side because we would have gigantic Indian and kebab feasts with beer and dirty jokes and such. But the other girls never really got to see that side of me since they never seemed to need me to connect on a guy-level with them.
Occasionally I feel like that here too. I'm always dressed up, always acting demurely and professionally. And, all I really want to do sometimes is just get in someone's face and be aggressive (or at least kick back and watch an action film with some beers). I have these two sides to my personality that may seem conflicting to the rest of the world, but to me they meld together just perfectly. I go a little crazy when I have to repress one of them.
And sometimes I feel that's why I search out girls who understand that side of me to be my friends (if I don't simply just search for guy friends). It's very hard for me to deny my tomboy side. I need to occasionally watch an action film or punch someone on the arm when they piss me off. I can't do that with most girls. But girls who also have tomboy tendencies get that. And most guys could care less that I'm wearing heels and a skirt if I'm giving as good as I'm taking and cuffing them upside the head when they say something stupid. And I really like being one of the guys. Just one of the guys who happens to wear hot pink heels and dates other guys.