blooming
Back to the livejournal i say, i have been fucking bored with myself forever and ever my summer's shit, ive been doing drugs and drinking too much, then i got caught with a bottle of whiskey so i am not going to be staying anywhere anytime soon and so i sit and think of everything and make plans and maps in my brain for my life, though i will probably get stoned and forget each and everyone of them, its pointless sometimes to think about nothing and everything and forever i wonder who i am, and sometimes i try to figure out myself and my moods and my decisions, i am an idiot, i love people but i dont show it, i feel the need to get so cocky and let my ego grow so big that i dont need anyone, but im alone and scared and pathetically losing control of my life, the days are going by faster and faster, rising at 4 in the afternoon to a waste of a day isnt that fun.....but i dont know maybe i should stop complaining and start writing and taking more photographs and stop wasting my money on pot and booz but im not so sure if i want to do that i mean right now i just want a good time but how can i have a good time when i feel like shit shit shit shit shit maybe life will be better later, i always say later when i make plans, like maybe i should stop saying that i want do something maybe i should just fucking do it GOD idiot me fuck fuck fuck. im done saying pointless things im done
bridge the fading gap between reality and nothingness