(no subject)

[wakeupchelsea]

Puerto Rico was phenominal. The time I spent there was priceless. I love Jay so incredibly much and his family is amazing too. I had my first special new years. my first new years kiss. we went surfing a lot. well, i went floating a lot..haha..he tried so hard to teach me and i did learn a bunch..i just need to keep practicing...and not jump off when i actually stand up. its freaky but i love it. I cant wait to get better. i wanna try all the time. i got to video Jay surfing and that was a lot of fun. i love watching him. hes so brave out in the ocean. maybe im just a chicken..i feel a lot better about things between us. i was confused about some stuff earlier but im better now. just seing him and spending time with him made every doubt vanish and every ounce of love i had for him multiply. u know how they say "distance makes the heart grow fonder"..well i believe thats true..for awhile..then after a certain point, the heart doubts. but i learned a lot about myself on this trip..which really suprised me. i wasnt expecting to. if the money comes in then im going back for spring break. march 18-25. which is only like 2 months away. this time tiff and brad will come too. that should be a blast. i think getting away would be good for them. i had so much fun there. we went to a rainforest, snorkeling, to beautiful beaches, to san juan (when it was POURING rain), to a beach alone one night just watching the waves crash, and we had such a great time. Jay cooked amazing food for us. it all tasted so great. his friends were nice. especially fernando and jessica. i love them. and their puppy. i have amazing photos and two videos that jay made. theyre awesome too. its nice to be able to see his face when we're apart. he gave me the most amazing christmas present ever and i almost cried. if it was just me and him, i would have. its a good thing elisha and adam were there. anyways i have a long drive ahead of me tom. heading back to KY..a.k.a..hell. just pray i dont sacrifice my roomate.

last semester things were so hard for me. losing my family, friends and jay all at once. but i know this one will be better. I have the most incredible boyfriend in the whole world who really is my best friend. and i trust him more now than i ever have. i trusted him before but i think i just needed to experience his world. i loved every second of it..maybe ill even be able to go to UPR this fall..we'll see. all in good time. i love him more every day. and our love inspires me. its crazy. i never thought id feel this way about anyone. i guess we all compare our current relationships to our past ones..whether we realize it or not..but i think ive finally broken free of that and put the nasty past behind me. and i dont hold him to anything he did in his past..shit happens, but all i care about is us now..how we are. i feel so happy. even though he is sooo far away from me again..im happy. because i just spend 2 weeks with the most gorgeous guy in the universe who thinks im pretty cool myself. how awesome is that...

its late..i should go to bed. i have to go to church tom at 8..getting an early start on whats going to be a long day